1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Use the free code JOINNOW at 
â€¨www.playships.eu

2
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,133
Call me Sam.

3
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,368
I am a writer of literature.

4
00:02:32,370 --> 00:02:34,637
I started writing
the day my grandfather

5
00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,141
sent my mom and me into exile,

6
00:02:37,143 --> 00:02:38,542
a day when most human beings

7
00:02:38,544 --> 00:02:40,411
would wallow in self pity.

8
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:43,548
I chose this moment
to honor my calling.

9
00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:45,517
So this is my story,

10
00:02:45,519 --> 00:02:47,320
and unlike other writers
of literature

11
00:02:47,322 --> 00:02:50,323
I won't skip the good parts.

12
00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:55,329
Samuel.

13
00:02:55,331 --> 00:02:59,634
Daddy, don't pull the
plantation master act with Sam.

14
00:02:59,636 --> 00:03:00,635
He's innocent.

15
00:03:00,637 --> 00:03:03,205
Nothing you touch is innocent.

16
00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:05,641
One more mistake,

17
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:09,312
and the boy goes to
the Custer military academy.

18
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,150
Are those implications clear?

19
00:03:12,152 --> 00:03:14,418
Oh, yes, your daddyship.

20
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:19,658
Sam, come. Bring the cards.

21
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:28,169
Caspar claimed we were
being exiled for our own good.

22
00:03:28,171 --> 00:03:30,054
What a load of crap.

23
00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:31,939
The truth is, he was planning
to run for governor,

24
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,608
and the thought of Lydia
on the loose

25
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,945
scared the wadding out of him.

26
00:03:35,947 --> 00:03:41,218
Do you know why I'm sending
you and your mom to Wyoming?

27
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:44,454
'Cause Lydia messed up again?

28
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:46,891
You know, there comes a time

29
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:52,731
when you have to set aside
all childish things.

30
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,266
But...

31
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,636
don't but grandpa.

32
00:03:56,638 --> 00:04:00,374
Go ahead. Throw 'em in.

33
00:04:00,376 --> 00:04:03,344
I had a good mind
to go to Wyoming and croak.

34
00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:05,480
Then he'd really be sorry.

35
00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:11,621
Good boy. Good boy.

36
00:04:13,358 --> 00:04:15,392
Sam Callahan
lay close to death.

37
00:04:15,394 --> 00:04:18,362
In a cruel twist of fate,
giving him comfort

38
00:04:18,364 --> 00:04:23,335
was the most beautiful nurse
he had ever seen.

39
00:04:30,412 --> 00:04:34,949
I'm sorry. He's
not going to make it.

40
00:04:35,919 --> 00:04:38,420
Sam. I'm sorry that I
shipped you and your mom

41
00:04:38,422 --> 00:04:43,693
out into the wilderness when you
needed to be home most of all.

42
00:04:43,695 --> 00:04:48,032
Could you forgive me
before you die, Sam?

43
00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:50,635
Hold on, sugar.

44
00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:53,338
I... Can't.

45
00:05:05,421 --> 00:05:08,390
So what did you do to
hack Caspar off so much?

46
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,391
Not a thing.

47
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:13,062
Not one iota of misconduct.

48
00:05:13,064 --> 00:05:15,898
You told me about the Cuban

49
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,035
and the strip show
on the sailboat.

50
00:05:18,037 --> 00:05:19,036
Now, is this one so bad

51
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:20,671
that you can't tell me
about it?

52
00:05:20,672 --> 00:05:22,306
Just think what
I'm liable to imagine?

53
00:05:22,309 --> 00:05:25,543
I'm as innocent as snow.

54
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:52,976
When Horace Greeley
said, "go west, young man,"

55
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,980
I don't think this is
what he had in mind.

56
00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:59,551
Lydia drove 2,000 Miles
with the top down.

57
00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:02,521
She had no concept
of altitude or temperature

58
00:06:02,523 --> 00:06:04,790
and couldn't read a map,
so I navigated.

59
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:08,462
We'd made an oath that grandpa
would never separate us.

60
00:06:08,464 --> 00:06:11,399
So as we drove further
and further from home,

61
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:13,434
it felt like we
were orphans together,

62
00:06:13,436 --> 00:06:16,939
and the first southerners
ever lost in Wyoming.

63
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,078
... Play.

64
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,546
Come on, Jimmy.

65
00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:24,915
Hey, sissy boy.

66
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:27,952
This one's for you, honey.

67
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,523
Get ready for this one.

68
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,428
Whoa!

69
00:06:36,598 --> 00:06:37,663
He's not going to get it.

70
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:41,468
Go get it. Go get it.
Run! Come on.

71
00:06:41,971 --> 00:06:43,170
Look out!

72
00:06:43,172 --> 00:06:44,873
Hey, watch it!

73
00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:53,182
Sharp move, pinhead.

74
00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:58,088
Attention, students and faulty.

75
00:06:58,090 --> 00:07:00,792
The pep rally for Friday's
football game

76
00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:02,126
will be after second period.

77
00:07:02,128 --> 00:07:06,131
At 2 P.M. today, we will
conduct our A-bomb drill.

78
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,935
Remember, students,
duck and cover.

79
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,106
Hi.

80
00:07:13,108 --> 00:07:14,608
I'm Howard Stebbins.

81
00:07:14,610 --> 00:07:16,644
Sam Callahan.

82
00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:20,782
Ok, gang.

83
00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:23,084
Open Huckleberry Finn
to page 47

84
00:07:23,087 --> 00:07:28,192
and go on to Twain's brilliant
use of negro dialect.

85
00:07:28,194 --> 00:07:29,693
Brilliant, my eye.

86
00:07:29,695 --> 00:07:30,961
No one talks like that.

87
00:07:30,963 --> 00:07:34,899
Well, why do you suppose
Twain wrote in dialect

88
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:36,134
if no one talks like that?

89
00:07:36,136 --> 00:07:38,137
He wanted Huck to seem stupid

90
00:07:38,139 --> 00:07:39,705
and Jim even stupider.

91
00:07:39,707 --> 00:07:41,707
I've heard Southern
accents on TV,

92
00:07:41,709 --> 00:07:43,210
and no one talks like that.

93
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:48,483
Well, Huck is from Missouri,
which isn't the South.

94
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,154
Heh, whoop-di-do.

95
00:07:55,559 --> 00:08:00,230
We know that Mark Twain was
one of the great proponents

96
00:08:00,232 --> 00:08:02,266
of equal rights for all.

97
00:08:02,268 --> 00:08:06,237
Now, we appreciate that here
in the equality state.

98
00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:09,941
Well, yeah,
but Twain hated Jews.

99
00:08:09,943 --> 00:08:12,812
Are you Jewish?

100
00:08:14,282 --> 00:08:15,548
No.

101
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:18,085
Well, how do you know
he hated Jews?

102
00:08:18,087 --> 00:08:19,887
Well, I can read.

103
00:08:19,889 --> 00:08:23,925
How can you say that
when you hate negroes?

104
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:26,061
I don't hate negroes.

105
00:08:26,063 --> 00:08:27,129
But you're from the South.

106
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:30,266
Everyone in the South
hates negroes.

107
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:31,935
You can't deny it.

108
00:08:36,242 --> 00:08:39,310
We can't stay here, mom.

109
00:08:39,312 --> 00:08:43,282
Our relationship is based
on mutual respect, Sam.

110
00:08:43,284 --> 00:08:45,017
You must never fling in my face

111
00:08:45,019 --> 00:08:46,019
the fact that I'm a mother.

112
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:49,622
These kids are Nazis... Lydia.

113
00:08:49,624 --> 00:08:52,293
It's like the entire
school was spawned

114
00:08:52,295 --> 00:08:54,094
by the mating of first cousins.

115
00:08:54,096 --> 00:08:57,799
Well, I bet that's why none
of the men here have chins.

116
00:08:57,801 --> 00:09:00,903
Even the teacher's a
first degree ignoramus.

117
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:03,773
That goes.

118
00:09:03,775 --> 00:09:06,109
I will not have the dead
passing for art.

119
00:09:06,111 --> 00:09:10,014
Only Caspar would pick
a house that has that.

120
00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:20,126
I made a decision
about this banishment deal.

121
00:09:20,128 --> 00:09:21,828
Should I be told?

122
00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:27,368
The way I conducted our life
back in Carolina didn't work.

123
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:28,936
I'll say.

124
00:09:28,938 --> 00:09:30,806
So...

125
00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:33,275
I'm calling a time-out.

126
00:09:33,277 --> 00:09:37,380
No more connections
for a while.

127
00:09:37,382 --> 00:09:39,683
As of this moment,

128
00:09:39,685 --> 00:09:44,356
I'm declaring myself
an emotional catatonic.

129
00:09:46,226 --> 00:09:49,362
Well, how's a catatonic
supposed to raise a kid?

130
00:09:49,364 --> 00:09:53,232
We'll negotiate an arrangement.

131
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:58,172
Now stand up straight. A gal
is judged by her posture.

132
00:09:58,174 --> 00:10:00,241
Why do I have to go?

133
00:10:00,243 --> 00:10:02,310
Because our new
neighbors are Southern,

134
00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:03,746
and what would they
think if we didn't

135
00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:06,215
go out of our way to
make them feel at home?

136
00:10:06,217 --> 00:10:08,151
But the kid's a squirrel.

137
00:10:08,153 --> 00:10:13,791
Gentlewomen do not compare
people to animals, dear.

138
00:10:23,438 --> 00:10:25,038
What?

139
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,139
Welcome wagon.

140
00:10:26,141 --> 00:10:27,875
Hi, I'm Laurabel Pierce,

141
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,443
and this is my daughter Maurey,

142
00:10:29,445 --> 00:10:31,879
and we'd like to welcome
you to rovont,

143
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,983
the friendliest little
town in Wyoming.

144
00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:36,251
How quaint.

145
00:10:36,253 --> 00:10:39,188
Look, Sammy.
It's the welcome wagon.

146
00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:41,023
Hi.

147
00:10:41,025 --> 00:10:43,293
Now what have we here?

148
00:10:43,295 --> 00:10:44,828
Oh, this is a survival kit,

149
00:10:44,829 --> 00:10:46,362
you know, for moving
into the new house.

150
00:10:46,365 --> 00:10:47,365
This is for you.

151
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,200
Chicken pot pie?

152
00:10:49,202 --> 00:10:51,302
Yeah, the good kind
with bottom crust.

153
00:10:51,304 --> 00:10:53,205
Maurey's dad can't
abide pot pies

154
00:10:53,207 --> 00:10:56,493
without good bottom crust.

155
00:10:56,494 --> 00:10:59,779
"Quick meals for the
harried housewife. "

156
00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:03,017
Yes, and every recipe
starts with a can

157
00:11:03,019 --> 00:11:05,186
of cream of mushroom soup.

158
00:11:05,188 --> 00:11:08,490
Well, fuck me silly.

159
00:11:10,227 --> 00:11:13,029
Do I look like
a housewife to you?

160
00:11:13,031 --> 00:11:14,397
No.

161
00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:17,434
Well, we just wanted
you to feel at home

162
00:11:17,436 --> 00:11:19,002
in rovont.

163
00:11:19,004 --> 00:11:20,872
Oh, Sam and I won't
be here long enough

164
00:11:20,874 --> 00:11:24,476
to mingle with the natives.

165
00:11:33,088 --> 00:11:34,187
There she is.

166
00:11:34,189 --> 00:11:35,568
Uh, Dot!

167
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:36,947
Oh, keep your pants
zipped, Jack.

168
00:11:36,948 --> 00:11:38,326
I'll be with you
when I'm with you.

169
00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:47,003
Her name is Dot.

170
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:49,038
Well, she should
sue her parents.

171
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,977
What kind of woman
would name a child "Dot?"

172
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:59,452
So you're the folks renting
doc Wardell's place.

173
00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:05,259
The guys paid me $1.00 apiece
to find out if you're single.

174
00:12:05,261 --> 00:12:09,297
Tell the guys I have 5 husbands:

175
00:12:09,299 --> 00:12:13,067
Each one rich,
mean, and jealous.

176
00:12:13,069 --> 00:12:15,571
I'll be rotating them
through on a weekly basis.

177
00:12:15,573 --> 00:12:21,311
That line will be all over
the valley by breakfast.

178
00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:25,550
Oh, just tell 'em
I own a rifle.

179
00:12:28,856 --> 00:12:33,192
So what happened in
the seventh grade today?

180
00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:34,527
You really want to hear?

181
00:12:34,529 --> 00:12:36,329
If I don't want to hear,
Caspar will send you

182
00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:38,465
to the Custer military academy,

183
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,836
and we wouldn't
want that, would we?

184
00:12:41,837 --> 00:12:45,207
Uh, in social studies miss Sheets
taught us how to write a check.

185
00:12:45,209 --> 00:12:48,344
Why, you've been writing
checks since you were 6.

186
00:12:48,346 --> 00:12:51,331
Yeah.

187
00:12:51,332 --> 00:12:54,318
And, uh, I think I'm in
love with Maurey Pierce.

188
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,353
That's nice.

189
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:58,389
How do you know you're in love?

190
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:00,859
'Cause I can't stand her.

191
00:13:00,861 --> 00:13:04,096
Well, that's
always a good sign.

192
00:13:04,098 --> 00:13:05,865
She hates my guts.

193
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:06,899
Called me pinhead.

194
00:13:06,901 --> 00:13:09,903
Sounds like love to me.

195
00:13:09,905 --> 00:13:12,390
You better eat that fast.

196
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,875
That gravy's
turning to axle grease.

197
00:13:17,982 --> 00:13:20,415
You know why I like you
more than the other boys?

198
00:13:20,417 --> 00:13:25,588
'Cause we're the only 2 kids
in seventh grade who can read?

199
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,424
No, silly.

200
00:13:27,426 --> 00:13:30,961
Because you're so handsome.

201
00:14:08,475 --> 00:14:10,610
Whah!

202
00:14:24,528 --> 00:14:27,730
You're licking the mirror.

203
00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:30,434
I'm making contact.

204
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,369
With who?

205
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,505
Myself.

206
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,442
Sam...

207
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,012
You ever had a stiffy?

208
00:14:40,014 --> 00:14:42,014
Mom.

209
00:14:42,016 --> 00:14:45,385
I just realized that...

210
00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:49,256
it's been years since
I saw your little weenie,

211
00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:54,029
and it was so cute
when you were a baby.

212
00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:57,766
We had this
black speckled basin

213
00:14:57,768 --> 00:14:59,202
I used to wash you in,

214
00:14:59,204 --> 00:15:03,373
and you would
always pee straight up.

215
00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:04,842
Mom...

216
00:15:04,843 --> 00:15:06,309
I hate when you talk
about cute naked stuff

217
00:15:06,312 --> 00:15:08,112
I did when I was little.

218
00:15:08,114 --> 00:15:10,382
Hmph.

219
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:19,793
Uh, mom, mom, mom.

220
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,528
Ssss.

221
00:15:34,346 --> 00:15:38,449
I didn't let myself go.

222
00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:49,128
You know when Gulliver traveled
to the land of Yahoos,

223
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:51,397
he must have come here.

224
00:15:51,399 --> 00:15:53,767
I think he just
insulted you, La Nell.

225
00:15:53,769 --> 00:15:56,787
I don't care.

226
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:59,807
What kind of show-off
studies on the bus anyways?

227
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:01,443
This isn't a schoolbook.

228
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:03,345
This is literature.

229
00:16:03,347 --> 00:16:07,384
Litter-tour, litter-tour.

230
00:16:07,386 --> 00:16:08,485
What literature?

231
00:16:08,487 --> 00:16:11,589
Uh, "it's a classic
coming of age story

232
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:14,859
"portraying one woman's
poignant experiences:

233
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:17,329
Life, love, and sex."

234
00:16:17,331 --> 00:16:19,498
What do you know about sex?

235
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,466
Well, after I finish this book

236
00:16:20,468 --> 00:16:23,336
I'll know a lot more than you.

237
00:16:23,605 --> 00:16:27,475
Not that knowing more about sex
than you do is a challenge.

238
00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:47,265
Amen.

239
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,633
Have you been saved?

240
00:16:48,635 --> 00:16:50,269
From what?

241
00:16:50,271 --> 00:16:52,771
You'll go to hell unless you
finish every bit of that.

242
00:16:52,773 --> 00:16:56,810
If a person goes to hell for not
finishing a tuna croquette,

243
00:16:56,812 --> 00:17:01,315
I think I lost my salvation
a long time ago.

244
00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:05,787
You coming?

245
00:17:05,789 --> 00:17:08,590
Yeah. Sure.

246
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,435
How's it going, Sam?

247
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,372
Couldn't be better, sir.

248
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:21,907
I don't know if you've heard,

249
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,441
but we're mighty proud
of our football team

250
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,810
here at rovont high.

251
00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:26,612
How'd you like to sign up?

252
00:17:26,614 --> 00:17:29,283
Well, I'd like to, sir,
but my mom needs me at home.

253
00:17:29,285 --> 00:17:33,253
She hasn't adjusted
to the lack of humidity yet.

254
00:17:33,255 --> 00:17:35,523
See, the thing is,
it takes 22 players

255
00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:37,325
to hold a practice,
and I've only got 21,

256
00:17:37,327 --> 00:17:40,362
and half of them still suck
their mama's tit at night.

257
00:17:40,364 --> 00:17:43,365
Well, I no longer nurse, sir.

258
00:17:43,367 --> 00:17:44,901
Let me explain to you

259
00:17:44,903 --> 00:17:48,372
the difference between an
"a" and an "f" in English.

260
00:17:48,374 --> 00:17:51,576
Me coming out for football?

261
00:17:51,578 --> 00:17:55,714
Now, that's
the old school spirit.

262
00:17:58,185 --> 00:17:59,551
Jump to the left.
Jump to the right.

263
00:17:59,554 --> 00:18:02,488
Sit down. Stand up.
Fight, fight, fight.

264
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:03,824
Yeah, whoo!

265
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,158
All right, boys.
Let's have a little game

266
00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:06,492
of smear the queer
with the ball, here.

267
00:18:06,495 --> 00:18:09,531
Hey, Sammy. Why
don't you tell us all

268
00:18:09,533 --> 00:18:10,865
how your mama's Hooters feel?

269
00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:13,536
About the same
as your sister's.

270
00:18:13,538 --> 00:18:16,272
I ain't got a sister, stupid.

271
00:18:16,274 --> 00:18:18,508
7-43, hut, hut.

272
00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:20,410
Uhh!

273
00:18:22,816 --> 00:18:25,750
Dothan sure got him good.

274
00:18:25,752 --> 00:18:26,918
You think he's hurt?

275
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:31,390
No, he's just playing possum.

276
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:35,495
Sissy boy. Come on, get up.

277
00:18:36,714 --> 00:18:37,931
Come on, Sam. Get up.

278
00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:40,334
Get up!

279
00:18:46,544 --> 00:18:48,811
Coverage continues
on the assassination

280
00:18:48,813 --> 00:18:51,314
of president John F. Kennedy.

281
00:18:51,316 --> 00:18:54,385
At 12:35 central standard time,

282
00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:56,622
president Kennedy was shot

283
00:18:56,623 --> 00:18:58,857
as his motorcade passed
through downtown Dallas.

284
00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:00,792
Governor Connally
was also shot.

285
00:19:00,794 --> 00:19:02,762
Thousands of mourners
have gathered

286
00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:04,530
at Parkland Memorial hospital

287
00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:06,833
to mourn the passing of our...

288
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:29,026
Pa-pop, pop.

289
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,008
They killed president Kennedy.

290
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:42,710
Are you sure?

291
00:19:42,712 --> 00:19:45,480
It's on the news.

292
00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:47,582
Well, who killed him?

293
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:50,419
Texans.

294
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,398
Y'all cryin'
over the nigger lover?

295
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,100
Shut up, Dothan.

296
00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:03,968
Hey, you know what all the kids

297
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:07,473
are getting for
Christmas this year?

298
00:20:07,475 --> 00:20:10,043
A Jack-in-the-box.

299
00:20:13,415 --> 00:20:15,516
I never knew you cared.

300
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:16,517
Ow.

301
00:20:18,154 --> 00:20:21,823
What are you doing, boy!
Huh, huh?

302
00:20:21,825 --> 00:20:24,594
Trying to take up for
your girlfriend?!

303
00:20:24,596 --> 00:20:26,129
Huh?!

304
00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:27,663
What the hell is
your problem, boy?!

305
00:20:27,665 --> 00:20:29,400
Stop it.

306
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,001
Hell, they started it, coach.

307
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:32,753
Lay off.

308
00:20:32,754 --> 00:20:34,505
That little bastard's
libel to hurt somebody.

309
00:20:34,508 --> 00:20:37,075
The president is dead,
and he was celebrating.

310
00:20:37,077 --> 00:20:39,044
Let's get out of here.

311
00:20:52,563 --> 00:20:55,164
Let's get out of here.

312
00:20:57,669 --> 00:20:59,936
Where?

313
00:21:00,505 --> 00:21:03,107
We can watch the news
at my house.

314
00:21:03,109 --> 00:21:05,910
You think they'll miss us?

315
00:21:05,912 --> 00:21:08,580
All the rules
are off today, Sam.

316
00:21:08,582 --> 00:21:12,452
Nothing we do matters.

317
00:21:13,087 --> 00:21:16,022
I guess it all depends
on your perspective.

318
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,524
As the rest of the country

319
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:18,792
was mourning their great loss,

320
00:21:18,794 --> 00:21:23,064
things were actually
starting to look up for me.

321
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,733
What do you bet

322
00:21:24,734 --> 00:21:25,867
mom will have heard
about the assassination,

323
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:27,703
but it's had no effect
on her at all?

324
00:21:27,705 --> 00:21:31,240
She'll be baking cookies and
waxing the kitchen floor.

325
00:21:31,242 --> 00:21:35,545
My mom's never baked
a cookie in her life.

326
00:21:35,547 --> 00:21:37,882
Come on.

327
00:21:40,153 --> 00:21:42,505
Oh, you're home early.

328
00:21:42,506 --> 00:21:44,857
They let us out on account
of the assassination.

329
00:21:45,860 --> 00:21:49,028
Isn't it a shame
about Mr. Kennedy?

330
00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:51,599
I wonder if they'll
let Petey out early, too,

331
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:52,817
this afternoon?

332
00:21:52,818 --> 00:21:54,034
Well, I'll just
finish these up,

333
00:21:54,036 --> 00:21:55,269
and then I'll make us
some hot cocoa.

334
00:21:55,271 --> 00:21:58,273
This isn't a time
for hot cocoa, mom.

335
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:01,744
It's always a time for cocoa.

336
00:22:06,118 --> 00:22:11,256
The whole world's gone straight
to hell in a handbasket.

337
00:22:12,526 --> 00:22:14,092
I had to come down here

338
00:22:14,093 --> 00:22:15,660
because my television
is out of order.

339
00:22:15,663 --> 00:22:17,863
What about you?

340
00:22:17,865 --> 00:22:19,031
I don't have a TV.

341
00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:21,968
Oh, it's been years
since I met anyone

342
00:22:21,970 --> 00:22:23,570
who didn't own a television.

343
00:22:23,572 --> 00:22:26,541
You must not meet many Indians.

344
00:22:28,311 --> 00:22:30,045
You're an Indian?

345
00:22:31,849 --> 00:22:33,549
Blackfeet.

346
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,788
My daddy can't stand Indians.

347
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:41,926
Our country continues to mourn...

348
00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:43,561
I wish my dad was here.

349
00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:45,064
Where is he?

350
00:22:45,065 --> 00:22:46,565
We have a horse ranch
10 Miles up in the mountains,

351
00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:47,699
and he has to feed every day

352
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:50,269
so he stays out there
most of the winter.

353
00:22:50,271 --> 00:22:52,905
What's your dad do?

354
00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:55,075
I don't have a father.

355
00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:59,147
Did he die?

356
00:22:59,149 --> 00:23:01,149
Lydia won't tell me
anything about him.

357
00:23:01,151 --> 00:23:03,284
When she's drunk
she claims virgin birth,

358
00:23:03,286 --> 00:23:05,254
like Mary and Jesus.

359
00:23:05,256 --> 00:23:07,656
I'd like to see my mom drunk.

360
00:23:07,658 --> 00:23:11,161
It's not that neat.

361
00:23:11,830 --> 00:23:13,297
She has these pictures

362
00:23:13,298 --> 00:23:14,764
of 5 guys
in old football uniforms

363
00:23:14,767 --> 00:23:16,133
in her panty box.

364
00:23:16,135 --> 00:23:17,451
Her panty box?

365
00:23:17,452 --> 00:23:18,769
I kind of figure one of them
might be my dad.

366
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:23,743
What were you doing
in your mother's panty box?

367
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:26,646
One of the guys is a negro.

368
00:23:26,648 --> 00:23:29,950
Mom! I'm home!

369
00:23:33,323 --> 00:23:35,290
Hey! We're watching that!

370
00:23:35,292 --> 00:23:37,927
This stinks.

371
00:23:37,929 --> 00:23:39,328
Mom!

372
00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:42,366
Maurey won't let me
watch Rocky.

373
00:23:42,368 --> 00:23:43,767
You know he watches Rocky

374
00:23:43,769 --> 00:23:44,802
every afternoon.

375
00:23:44,803 --> 00:23:45,836
What's the matter with you?

376
00:23:45,838 --> 00:23:47,939
Look, brat.

377
00:23:50,644 --> 00:23:53,045
The president of our country
is dead.

378
00:23:53,047 --> 00:23:54,313
Some things are more important

379
00:23:54,315 --> 00:23:58,318
than Rocky the flying squirrel!

380
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,320
Daddy!

381
00:24:00,322 --> 00:24:01,656
Hey.

382
00:24:01,658 --> 00:24:04,425
How's my favorite girl?

383
00:24:13,438 --> 00:24:15,438
Uh... Hi.

384
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,141
Hi.

385
00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:44,006
Lydia, there's an Indian
in our kitchen.

386
00:24:44,008 --> 00:24:46,076
Oh, that's Hank.

387
00:24:46,078 --> 00:24:48,244
He's blackfoot... or feet,

388
00:24:48,246 --> 00:24:50,013
I get it mixed up.

389
00:24:50,015 --> 00:24:52,450
Hank knows loads of nifty stuff

390
00:24:52,452 --> 00:24:53,284
about the forest.

391
00:24:53,286 --> 00:24:55,253
You went into the forest?

392
00:24:55,255 --> 00:24:57,456
Oh, it was a hoot, Sam.

393
00:24:57,458 --> 00:24:59,257
I tried something new.

394
00:24:59,259 --> 00:25:00,259
How about that?

395
00:25:00,261 --> 00:25:01,494
How about that.

396
00:25:01,496 --> 00:25:03,797
Well, you didn't expect me

397
00:25:03,798 --> 00:25:06,100
to stay on this couch
forever, did you?

398
00:25:06,102 --> 00:25:09,336
So what's Hank
doing in our kitchen?

399
00:25:09,338 --> 00:25:11,873
He's fixing supper.

400
00:25:11,874 --> 00:25:14,409
Some staple he said got his
tribe through hard winters.

401
00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:17,446
God, Caspar's
gonna pass a brick.

402
00:25:17,448 --> 00:25:20,083
Oh, isn't it wonderful?

403
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:22,135
Hank, honey,

404
00:25:22,136 --> 00:25:24,187
what's that Indian thing
you're making?

405
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:26,424
Macaroni and cheese.

406
00:25:37,339 --> 00:25:39,039
Aah!

407
00:25:51,823 --> 00:25:53,423
Welcome wagon.

408
00:26:17,588 --> 00:26:19,555
Eww!

409
00:26:22,294 --> 00:26:24,127
Jeez.

410
00:26:24,129 --> 00:26:25,461
Yuck.

411
00:26:33,974 --> 00:26:35,907
Explain this.

412
00:26:35,909 --> 00:26:37,510
Sammy?

413
00:26:37,511 --> 00:26:39,111
Lydia, I think
there's something wrong with me.

414
00:26:39,113 --> 00:26:40,546
I must be sick or something.

415
00:26:40,548 --> 00:26:43,417
You blew your nose
in your sock?

416
00:26:43,419 --> 00:26:48,223
This didn't come from my nose.

417
00:26:54,632 --> 00:26:56,767
You masturbated?

418
00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:58,902
I woke up with this stuff
all over me.

419
00:27:01,007 --> 00:27:04,175
Were you dreaming
right before you woke up?

420
00:27:09,450 --> 00:27:12,518
Was there a girl in your dream?

421
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,556
Did you recognize her?

422
00:27:15,558 --> 00:27:18,993
She kissed me,
and I felt funny.

423
00:27:21,565 --> 00:27:24,532
You had a wet dream,
honey bunny.

424
00:27:24,534 --> 00:27:28,237
Boys have 'em all the time.

425
00:27:29,407 --> 00:27:32,409
Well, do something with it.

426
00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:39,734
You know, things like this

427
00:27:39,735 --> 00:27:41,386
don't happen to
boys with fathers.

428
00:27:41,389 --> 00:27:43,122
So crucify me.

429
00:27:43,124 --> 00:27:45,492
Every kid in Wyoming probably
knows what a wet dream is,

430
00:27:45,494 --> 00:27:46,960
and they're laughing at me
right now,

431
00:27:46,962 --> 00:27:48,561
calling me a squirrel.

432
00:27:51,267 --> 00:27:52,700
Poor Sammy.

433
00:27:52,702 --> 00:27:56,538
You just moved a step closer
to being a grown-up.

434
00:27:58,509 --> 00:28:01,344
I couldn't wait to tell
Maurey what I'd learned.

435
00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:04,014
I explained
the whole process to her,

436
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,582
except the part where her mom

437
00:28:05,584 --> 00:28:07,584
triggered the mess on my belly.

438
00:28:07,586 --> 00:28:09,454
How much goo came out?

439
00:28:09,456 --> 00:28:11,356
A cup? A quart?

440
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:12,524
Not a quart.

441
00:28:12,526 --> 00:28:14,093
How much, then?

442
00:28:14,095 --> 00:28:16,395
Well, it was all spread out.

443
00:28:16,397 --> 00:28:18,297
About a third-cup.

444
00:28:18,299 --> 00:28:21,068
I'll lose my virginity
some day, and when I do,

445
00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:22,602
I don't want
to come off ignorant.

446
00:28:22,604 --> 00:28:26,708
I want to know what's
going on every second.

447
00:28:33,050 --> 00:28:34,551
Don't you kids know

448
00:28:34,552 --> 00:28:36,052
that coffee will
stunt your growth?

449
00:28:36,054 --> 00:28:39,390
Dot, do you and your husband
have sex?

450
00:28:39,392 --> 00:28:41,058
Why, Maurey Pierce,

451
00:28:41,060 --> 00:28:43,028
I should wash your mouth
out with soap.

452
00:28:43,030 --> 00:28:44,629
I didn't say a dirty word.

453
00:28:44,631 --> 00:28:45,998
You did so.

454
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,265
Sex is a dirty word?

455
00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:51,004
We don't talk about that word

456
00:28:51,006 --> 00:28:53,607
in mixed-gender company.

457
00:28:55,478 --> 00:28:57,345
I'll be outside.

458
00:29:04,522 --> 00:29:07,557
While Maurey was getting
the low-down from Dot,

459
00:29:07,559 --> 00:29:10,093
I turned to my dream girl.

460
00:29:10,095 --> 00:29:11,661
I had so many questions.

461
00:29:11,663 --> 00:29:14,265
I needed someone
I could talk to,

462
00:29:14,267 --> 00:29:15,566
someone who would be willing

463
00:29:15,568 --> 00:29:17,770
to explore the secrets of love.

464
00:29:17,772 --> 00:29:21,340
I needed a professional.

465
00:29:22,210 --> 00:29:25,078
My mom won't be home
for another 20 minutes.

466
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,548
Do you want to do me again?

467
00:29:27,550 --> 00:29:28,582
I don't know.

468
00:29:28,584 --> 00:29:30,384
That'll be, what, 5 times

469
00:29:30,386 --> 00:29:31,720
since school let out
this afternoon?

470
00:29:31,722 --> 00:29:37,160
Sam, it's not romantic
to keep score.

471
00:29:47,307 --> 00:29:48,974
So what'd she say?

472
00:29:48,975 --> 00:29:50,643
She said sex is a wonderful
and special experience

473
00:29:50,645 --> 00:29:54,580
but can only be done right
when 2 people are in love.

474
00:29:54,582 --> 00:29:58,085
Grown-ups are so full of bull.

475
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:19,110
Hey, Delores, put it
in the corner pocket.

476
00:30:19,112 --> 00:30:20,645
Geronimo!

477
00:30:21,548 --> 00:30:23,548
Whoo! Yippee!

478
00:30:23,550 --> 00:30:24,884
She did it!

479
00:30:24,885 --> 00:30:26,218
That means I get
to go again, right?

480
00:30:26,221 --> 00:30:29,556
Daddy wants to run
for governor or something

481
00:30:29,558 --> 00:30:33,127
and he thinks havin'
an illegitimate grandson

482
00:30:33,129 --> 00:30:35,797
underfoot
would cause embarrassment.

483
00:30:37,701 --> 00:30:39,602
That's why Sam and I

484
00:30:39,603 --> 00:30:41,503
have been banished
to the hinterlands.

485
00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:43,372
I was given a choice

486
00:30:43,374 --> 00:30:46,643
between Sam goes or we both go.

487
00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:51,849
We got politicians
in my family, too.

488
00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:54,920
They're worse than cowdogs.

489
00:31:06,536 --> 00:31:11,239
Now, this doesn't mean
that we're goin' steady.

490
00:31:11,241 --> 00:31:12,891
Yeah.

491
00:31:12,892 --> 00:31:14,543
I mean, we're not even datin'.

492
00:31:17,415 --> 00:31:20,450
You got that?

493
00:31:20,452 --> 00:31:22,186
This is strictly...

494
00:31:22,188 --> 00:31:25,623
strictly a one-night stand.

495
00:31:31,632 --> 00:31:33,433
No commitments.

496
00:31:33,435 --> 00:31:37,838
I don't want to feel.

497
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,208
Got that?

498
00:32:46,390 --> 00:32:47,956
Hello.

499
00:32:47,957 --> 00:32:49,523
Idle hands are
the devil's playground.

500
00:32:49,526 --> 00:32:50,626
Grandpa? Excellent!

501
00:32:50,628 --> 00:32:52,995
Now hand the phone
to your mother.

502
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,606
Lydia?

503
00:33:04,578 --> 00:33:06,712
Jeez, Lydia.

504
00:33:14,590 --> 00:33:17,558
Grandpa?
Lydia isn't here right now.

505
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,445
Well, where is she?

506
00:33:19,446 --> 00:33:21,330
She went for a job interview
at the mormon church.

507
00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:22,731
Secretary or something.

508
00:33:22,733 --> 00:33:25,935
Your mother will never
work a day in her life.

509
00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:27,470
Lydia's turned over a new leaf.

510
00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:29,039
She's... must be the fresh air
or something.

511
00:33:29,041 --> 00:33:31,975
She's changed.
She's responsible now.

512
00:33:31,977 --> 00:33:34,079
I control the cash flow.

513
00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:35,647
I respect that, sir.

514
00:33:35,649 --> 00:33:36,748
Tell her she dumps the Indian

515
00:33:36,750 --> 00:33:39,585
or faces the wrath
of almighty God.

516
00:33:39,587 --> 00:33:40,686
That would be you?

517
00:34:43,731 --> 00:34:44,696
Hi, Sam.

518
00:34:44,698 --> 00:34:45,998
Your mom and 8 other drunks

519
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,734
rented a hotel room in Dubois

520
00:34:47,736 --> 00:34:49,803
after the bars closed
last night.

521
00:34:49,805 --> 00:34:51,705
They're having a party.

522
00:34:51,707 --> 00:34:53,707
My cousin Delores is there.

523
00:34:53,709 --> 00:34:54,842
Delores' husband told her mom

524
00:34:54,844 --> 00:34:57,078
in hopes of getting Delores
dragged out,

525
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,548
but it didn't work.

526
00:35:01,553 --> 00:35:04,887
Well, I'm making coffee.
You want some?

527
00:35:04,889 --> 00:35:08,025
I want to explain the rules
before we do this.

528
00:35:08,027 --> 00:35:09,126
Do what?

529
00:35:09,128 --> 00:35:11,963
Make sex.
Why else would I be here?

530
00:35:11,965 --> 00:35:14,566
We're gonna perform sex now?

531
00:35:14,568 --> 00:35:17,069
After coffee.

532
00:35:25,615 --> 00:35:26,981
It's time you and I find out

533
00:35:26,983 --> 00:35:29,717
what the big deal is
with this sex thing.

534
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,054
Do you think Lydia
might come home today?

535
00:35:32,056 --> 00:35:33,055
Doubtful.

536
00:35:33,057 --> 00:35:35,058
You think you can get a stiffy?

537
00:35:35,060 --> 00:35:36,571
Well, I don't know.

538
00:35:36,572 --> 00:35:38,083
They sort of come and go
on their own.

539
00:35:38,084 --> 00:35:39,595
I haven't learned
how to control them yet.

540
00:35:39,598 --> 00:35:41,765
Maybe it'll happen naturally.

541
00:35:41,767 --> 00:35:45,971
Well, I heard something about
puttin' it in the girl's mouth.

542
00:35:45,973 --> 00:35:47,840
Ugh.

543
00:35:47,841 --> 00:35:49,842
I'm not doing anything that
might make me throw up.

544
00:35:52,547 --> 00:35:54,013
We're both virgins.

545
00:35:54,015 --> 00:35:57,251
I never said I was a virgin.

546
00:35:59,054 --> 00:36:00,288
We're both virgins.

547
00:36:00,290 --> 00:36:02,290
But someday we're gonna
find ourselves

548
00:36:02,292 --> 00:36:03,725
doing it for real.

549
00:36:03,727 --> 00:36:05,594
So today's sex isn't real?

550
00:36:05,596 --> 00:36:07,997
We're just friends
helping each other

551
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,599
learn a new skill.

552
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,067
This is practice.

553
00:36:11,069 --> 00:36:13,738
So will we still be
virgins afterwards?

554
00:36:13,740 --> 00:36:17,041
That's part of what
we're gonna learn,

555
00:36:17,043 --> 00:36:18,527
where the line

556
00:36:18,528 --> 00:36:20,011
between virginity
and non-virginity is.

557
00:36:20,014 --> 00:36:21,580
Here's rule number one:

558
00:36:21,582 --> 00:36:23,917
You better not squirt.

559
00:36:23,919 --> 00:36:25,469
And no kissing.

560
00:36:25,470 --> 00:36:27,020
Kissing is mushy
emotional stuff.

561
00:36:27,022 --> 00:36:29,990
We can't do this if
you're going to get mushy.

562
00:36:29,992 --> 00:36:33,562
I promise. No mush.

563
00:36:34,631 --> 00:36:37,632
I wish we didn't
have to be naked.

564
00:36:37,634 --> 00:36:41,671
That's a big part
of doing it, I'm sure.

565
00:36:45,144 --> 00:36:46,910
Go on.

566
00:36:46,912 --> 00:36:48,780
You first.

567
00:36:48,782 --> 00:36:51,883
Jeez, Louise.

568
00:36:58,260 --> 00:36:59,926
Your turn.

569
00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:01,995
Well, this is as far
as I've dreamed.

570
00:37:01,997 --> 00:37:03,598
I'm ready to quit.

571
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:04,899
Sam.

572
00:37:14,245 --> 00:37:16,379
I thought you'd be bigger.

573
00:37:17,617 --> 00:37:19,383
Well, it swells up
when it gets stiff.

574
00:37:19,385 --> 00:37:22,287
A horse's woodie
is as big as its leg.

575
00:37:22,289 --> 00:37:24,756
I don't think it's fair

576
00:37:24,758 --> 00:37:27,026
to compare people to horses.

577
00:37:36,973 --> 00:37:39,774
This doesn't look possible.

578
00:37:42,246 --> 00:37:45,882
Horses do it with the stallion
standing up behind the mare.

579
00:37:45,884 --> 00:37:48,184
Forget horses, ok?

580
00:37:48,186 --> 00:37:50,788
You got a better idea?

581
00:37:52,692 --> 00:37:55,927
Maybe if I stand on a chair.

582
00:37:55,929 --> 00:37:57,229
Well, my books
don't say anything

583
00:37:57,231 --> 00:37:59,297
about the girl
standing on chairs.

584
00:37:59,299 --> 00:38:01,601
Books skip this part

585
00:38:01,602 --> 00:38:03,903
and go right on
to how wonderful it was.

586
00:38:05,441 --> 00:38:06,674
Well, maybe if we kiss.

587
00:38:06,676 --> 00:38:09,777
I told you. No kissing.

588
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:14,817
Maybe if you touch it
with your hand.

589
00:38:14,819 --> 00:38:17,420
Ok, but don't look.

590
00:38:28,802 --> 00:38:33,172
That's my belly button, Sam.

591
00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:48,290
Sam! Huh?

592
00:38:48,292 --> 00:38:52,829
This is nowhere near
a third of a cup.

593
00:38:52,831 --> 00:38:54,315
Uh!

594
00:38:54,316 --> 00:38:55,799
Did we lose
our virginities yet?

595
00:38:55,801 --> 00:38:58,737
I sure as hell didn't!

596
00:39:02,175 --> 00:39:03,241
Dibs on the can!

597
00:39:03,243 --> 00:39:05,144
Ahh! The hell with that!

598
00:39:05,146 --> 00:39:07,880
Ohh, crap it all, anyway.

599
00:39:07,882 --> 00:39:10,484
Sam, meet my cousin Delores.

600
00:39:10,486 --> 00:39:12,486
Hi. Howdy.

601
00:39:12,488 --> 00:39:15,123
Maurey, I won't tell
Laurabel I saw you here

602
00:39:15,125 --> 00:39:18,260
if you don't tell her
that you saw me.

603
00:39:19,797 --> 00:39:21,096
What's in the bottle?

604
00:39:21,098 --> 00:39:23,466
Turpenhydrate and codeine.

605
00:39:23,468 --> 00:39:25,468
It's really good
for when you want

606
00:39:25,470 --> 00:39:27,470
to stop drinking.

607
00:39:27,472 --> 00:39:30,040
Whoo!

608
00:39:30,042 --> 00:39:32,009
Your turn.

609
00:39:32,011 --> 00:39:33,311
Hi, mom.

610
00:39:33,313 --> 00:39:34,212
Who?

611
00:39:34,214 --> 00:39:35,313
Hi, Lydia.

612
00:39:35,315 --> 00:39:37,784
This is my friend Maurey
from school.

613
00:39:37,786 --> 00:39:40,453
Oh. Welcome wagon.

614
00:39:40,455 --> 00:39:42,790
My mom made me come.

615
00:39:42,792 --> 00:39:44,792
She thinks she's Betty Crocker.

616
00:39:44,794 --> 00:39:47,061
Now, never be embarrassed
by your mother.

617
00:39:47,063 --> 00:39:49,864
Sam's embarrassed of me,
and look how he turned out.

618
00:39:49,866 --> 00:39:51,934
Had to whiz like a race horse.

619
00:39:51,936 --> 00:39:53,836
I swear to God you do not buy

620
00:39:53,838 --> 00:39:56,438
codeine cough syrup,
you rent it.

621
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,843
What have you kids
been up to all morning?

622
00:39:59,845 --> 00:40:03,881
Gin rummy. I owe Maurey $3.50.

623
00:40:03,883 --> 00:40:04,982
No, we weren't.

624
00:40:04,984 --> 00:40:06,585
We were trying to have sex,

625
00:40:06,587 --> 00:40:09,321
only we couldn't do it.

626
00:40:09,557 --> 00:40:11,391
Why were you trying
to have sex?

627
00:40:11,393 --> 00:40:14,527
I want to know what it feels
like before I hit puberty

628
00:40:14,529 --> 00:40:16,781
and have to do it for real,

629
00:40:16,782 --> 00:40:19,033
and I figured
Sam would be more popular

630
00:40:19,035 --> 00:40:20,201
if he knew how to please girls.

631
00:40:20,203 --> 00:40:23,238
He hasn't been
all that popular so far.

632
00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:25,140
What's the matter, honey?

633
00:40:25,141 --> 00:40:27,042
You havin' problems
keepin' your weenie up?

634
00:40:27,045 --> 00:40:28,962
It stood up.

635
00:40:28,963 --> 00:40:30,881
But we couldn't figure out
where he should go in from.

636
00:40:30,883 --> 00:40:32,850
And then he squirted.

637
00:40:33,586 --> 00:40:35,386
Your turn.

638
00:40:37,423 --> 00:40:39,457
You and your mama have
little chats like this?

639
00:40:39,459 --> 00:40:41,894
My mother thinks I'm sweet 14

640
00:40:41,896 --> 00:40:42,862
and never been kissed.

641
00:40:42,864 --> 00:40:45,866
I knew where to go in, I think,

642
00:40:45,868 --> 00:40:47,067
but it wouldn't go.

643
00:40:47,069 --> 00:40:48,368
I must be too big.

644
00:40:50,506 --> 00:40:53,274
Nobody's too big.

645
00:40:53,276 --> 00:40:55,177
Were you good and excited?

646
00:40:55,179 --> 00:40:58,113
Excited?

647
00:40:58,115 --> 00:40:59,883
Wet. Yeah.

648
00:40:59,885 --> 00:41:01,084
Excited when you're...

649
00:41:01,086 --> 00:41:03,086
Wet. Yeah.

650
00:41:03,088 --> 00:41:04,287
Nice and wet.

651
00:41:04,289 --> 00:41:06,590
Down there.

652
00:41:07,660 --> 00:41:09,193
Should I have used water?

653
00:41:09,195 --> 00:41:12,330
Water don't quite cut it.

654
00:41:12,332 --> 00:41:15,167
Cigarettes.

655
00:41:15,169 --> 00:41:16,669
Foreplay is the only proper way

656
00:41:16,671 --> 00:41:19,339
a gentleman excites a lady.

657
00:41:19,341 --> 00:41:21,141
What's foreplay?

658
00:41:21,142 --> 00:41:22,942
You know, it's when a man
squeezes your boobs

659
00:41:22,945 --> 00:41:25,513
and then whispers
real dirty in your ear.

660
00:41:25,515 --> 00:41:27,181
Delores!

661
00:41:27,183 --> 00:41:28,616
Lydia.

662
00:41:28,618 --> 00:41:29,685
I wish my mother had taken time

663
00:41:29,687 --> 00:41:32,321
to talk to me
about those things.

664
00:41:34,059 --> 00:41:35,292
All right.

665
00:41:35,294 --> 00:41:36,393
If you kids are gonna do this,

666
00:41:36,395 --> 00:41:39,030
you might as well do it right.

667
00:41:41,401 --> 00:41:43,335
Oh, no.

668
00:41:47,141 --> 00:41:48,608
Now...

669
00:41:48,610 --> 00:41:50,543
Maurey looks somethin'
like that, right?

670
00:41:50,545 --> 00:41:54,448
My eyes were closed.

671
00:41:55,051 --> 00:41:57,418
What you want to do is
you want to go in down here,

672
00:41:57,420 --> 00:42:01,523
and one of you is gonna have to
grab it and angle it right,

673
00:42:01,525 --> 00:42:04,694
'cause it'll just take years
before it slides in on its own.

674
00:42:04,696 --> 00:42:06,696
Mm-hmm. Years.

675
00:42:06,698 --> 00:42:09,617
Now, 2 things.

676
00:42:09,618 --> 00:42:12,537
You two go ahead and play
your little boy/girl games,

677
00:42:12,539 --> 00:42:14,973
but the first sign
of a period in Maurey

678
00:42:14,975 --> 00:42:17,710
and the game stops.

679
00:42:17,712 --> 00:42:20,512
What's a period?

680
00:42:20,514 --> 00:42:22,682
Number 2...

681
00:42:22,684 --> 00:42:24,968
Is a matter of form.

682
00:42:24,969 --> 00:42:27,254
You don't talk like this
in front of adults.

683
00:42:27,256 --> 00:42:29,724
At your age,

684
00:42:29,725 --> 00:42:32,194
sex is something you...
you run around and hide.

685
00:42:32,196 --> 00:42:33,261
Why?

686
00:42:33,263 --> 00:42:34,363
Well, society would fall apart

687
00:42:34,365 --> 00:42:37,033
if people were honest
about screwing.

688
00:42:38,737 --> 00:42:43,674
Sam, let's go to your room
and read comic books.

689
00:42:43,676 --> 00:42:47,645
Yeah. Yeah.
Comic books sound fun.

690
00:42:51,786 --> 00:42:54,720
Oh, I did a bad thing.

691
00:42:54,722 --> 00:42:57,024
No.

692
00:42:59,728 --> 00:43:02,363
10-letter word for lampoon.

693
00:43:02,365 --> 00:43:04,165
Uh, satirize.

694
00:43:06,470 --> 00:43:08,570
It's too short.

695
00:43:08,572 --> 00:43:11,741
Will you explain to me
about women?

696
00:43:11,743 --> 00:43:13,743
Women are right
and men are wrong,

697
00:43:13,745 --> 00:43:15,713
and that's all
you need to know.

698
00:43:15,715 --> 00:43:18,382
I mean about liking.

699
00:43:18,384 --> 00:43:20,652
Now that Maurey and I
have done it,

700
00:43:20,654 --> 00:43:22,204
will she like me?

701
00:43:22,205 --> 00:43:23,755
Maurey will always have
a warm spot in her heart

702
00:43:23,757 --> 00:43:26,325
whenever she thinks about you.

703
00:43:27,328 --> 00:43:29,262
But she says
we're just friends.

704
00:43:29,263 --> 00:43:31,198
Well, you're lucky. That way
you can have the fun of love

705
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,399
without the heartbreak.

706
00:43:32,401 --> 00:43:33,634
But what if I like her

707
00:43:33,636 --> 00:43:35,270
and get my heart broke anyway?

708
00:43:35,272 --> 00:43:37,205
Then you're a sucker.

709
00:43:37,207 --> 00:43:40,142
Here's the deal, Sam.
If you sleep with a girl

710
00:43:40,144 --> 00:43:41,677
and afterwards
she likes you as a friend,

711
00:43:41,679 --> 00:43:43,712
then she's always
gonna like you as a friend

712
00:43:43,714 --> 00:43:45,649
and she's never gonna
like you as a lover.

713
00:43:45,651 --> 00:43:48,752
And there ain't nothin'
in this hell-bitch world

714
00:43:48,754 --> 00:43:50,755
you can do about it.

715
00:43:55,696 --> 00:43:57,663
Are you afraid to admit

716
00:43:57,665 --> 00:43:59,666
that the other night
meant something?

717
00:43:59,667 --> 00:44:01,667
What happened between
us is just what I like most:

718
00:44:01,670 --> 00:44:03,536
Sex without consequences.

719
00:44:03,538 --> 00:44:04,805
Hey, mom, I'm home.

720
00:44:04,807 --> 00:44:08,109
If I'm stupid, I go to jail.

721
00:44:08,111 --> 00:44:09,644
If you're stupid,
you get shipped off

722
00:44:09,646 --> 00:44:11,613
to live with the commoners
for a few months.

723
00:44:11,615 --> 00:44:14,350
The worst thing that could
possibly happen to you

724
00:44:14,352 --> 00:44:16,586
is you might lose
your trust fund.

725
00:44:16,588 --> 00:44:19,190
Well, I'm not about to
spend the rest of my life

726
00:44:19,191 --> 00:44:21,792
waitin' for free cheese at
the county extension office.

727
00:44:31,606 --> 00:44:34,407
Got rid of another one.

728
00:44:35,677 --> 00:44:38,179
Why don't you just go screw
your little girlfriend

729
00:44:38,181 --> 00:44:40,915
and leave me alone?

730
00:44:47,659 --> 00:44:50,426
We're going on a double date
to the Saturday matinee.

731
00:44:50,428 --> 00:44:52,396
What, you and me
and another couple?

732
00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:55,766
No, me and Dothan
and you and Chuckette Morris.

733
00:44:55,768 --> 00:44:58,603
But Dothan's our mortal enemy.

734
00:44:58,605 --> 00:45:01,907
He's your mortal enemy.
He's my boyfriend.

735
00:45:01,909 --> 00:45:05,578
But Dothan cheered
when John Kennedy died.

736
00:45:05,580 --> 00:45:07,982
He said "nigger. "

737
00:45:07,983 --> 00:45:10,384
He's just repeating crap his
jerk-racist dad spews at home.

738
00:45:10,386 --> 00:45:11,719
He didn't know any better.

739
00:45:11,721 --> 00:45:14,856
Well, he rubbed
our faces in the dirt.

740
00:45:14,858 --> 00:45:16,625
And he apologized.

741
00:45:16,627 --> 00:45:18,511
Well, not to me.

742
00:45:18,512 --> 00:45:20,396
Dothan was jealous when he
saw us sitting together.

743
00:45:20,398 --> 00:45:22,899
He's liked me
since the fifth grade.

744
00:45:22,901 --> 00:45:24,634
Well, do you like him?

745
00:45:24,636 --> 00:45:28,272
That's not the point. Dothan has
a learner's permit and a car.

746
00:45:28,274 --> 00:45:29,707
We can double with you
and Chuckette.

747
00:45:29,709 --> 00:45:32,377
Well, I can't stand
Chuckette Morris.

748
00:45:32,379 --> 00:45:34,446
Yeah, but she likes you.

749
00:45:34,447 --> 00:45:36,515
This is your big chance
to get a date.

750
00:45:37,819 --> 00:45:42,723
Hurry up, Sam.
Mom will be home soon.

751
00:46:31,651 --> 00:46:32,750
You gonna kiss me or not?

752
00:46:40,862 --> 00:46:42,862
well, you'll have
to take out your gum.

753
00:46:42,864 --> 00:46:46,333
Aw, but you just bought it.

754
00:46:46,335 --> 00:46:48,302
Suit yourself.

755
00:46:48,304 --> 00:46:51,056
Gosh...

756
00:46:51,057 --> 00:46:53,809
I didn't know when I moved
here if I'd fit in, but...

757
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:56,078
You kids are really great!

758
00:47:00,752 --> 00:47:04,021
Ok, you win.

759
00:47:39,032 --> 00:47:41,733
ah! Ooh!

760
00:47:41,735 --> 00:47:42,868
You bit my tongue!

761
00:47:42,870 --> 00:47:43,969
Ooh!

762
00:47:43,971 --> 00:47:45,771
Get her, Sammy.

763
00:47:45,773 --> 00:47:49,008
Oh, God. That was disgusting.

764
00:47:49,010 --> 00:47:50,643
It was a kiss.

765
00:47:50,645 --> 00:47:53,781
With your wet, gross
tongue hanging out?

766
00:47:53,783 --> 00:47:56,785
Ooh, is that how
boys back east kiss?

767
00:47:56,787 --> 00:47:58,687
That's how everybody
kisses, Charlotte.

768
00:47:58,689 --> 00:48:02,525
It's not... that's not
how the nazarenes do it.

769
00:48:02,527 --> 00:48:05,962
Daddy said boys would try
to get me passionate

770
00:48:05,964 --> 00:48:09,967
so they could make me
pregnant and ruin my life

771
00:48:09,969 --> 00:48:12,470
and trick me
into going to hell.

772
00:48:12,472 --> 00:48:16,742
You don't sound passionate.

773
00:48:16,744 --> 00:48:19,545
I wasn't ready that time.

774
00:48:19,547 --> 00:48:22,048
Let's try again.

775
00:48:49,884 --> 00:48:51,851
You're home, Sam.

776
00:48:52,921 --> 00:48:55,589
Do you wanna come in?
Lydia got some new records.

777
00:48:55,591 --> 00:48:59,894
No, tHanks. I'll just have
Dothan take me on home.

778
00:49:02,999 --> 00:49:04,132
Are you sure?

779
00:49:04,134 --> 00:49:08,604
Get out of the car, Sam.

780
00:49:08,606 --> 00:49:09,840
I'll be fine.

781
00:49:14,046 --> 00:49:14,979
You'll be ok?

782
00:49:14,981 --> 00:49:16,180
What do you think

783
00:49:16,182 --> 00:49:18,951
I'm gonna do to her,
for crissakes?

784
00:49:18,953 --> 00:49:20,886
Go on, Sam.

785
00:49:38,175 --> 00:49:40,877
Atta boy, Sam.

786
00:49:44,283 --> 00:49:46,517
I see don Juan has decided

787
00:49:46,519 --> 00:49:48,152
to grace us with his presence.

788
00:50:06,776 --> 00:50:09,244
Hey, hey, what's with
the don Juan crack?

789
00:50:09,246 --> 00:50:11,213
So you slipped
the tongue to Chuckette.

790
00:50:11,215 --> 00:50:13,750
Well, she said "kiss me,"
and I kissed her.

791
00:50:13,752 --> 00:50:16,920
She claims you were
smack dab passionate.

792
00:50:16,922 --> 00:50:18,656
Where'd you learn
to kiss, anyway?

793
00:50:18,658 --> 00:50:20,824
Just watchin' Lydia
and her boyfriends.

794
00:50:20,826 --> 00:50:25,063
If mom lets me out, I'll be
over after dick van dyke.

795
00:50:25,065 --> 00:50:28,034
Maybe we could try
kissing this time.

796
00:50:29,837 --> 00:50:32,739
Do you practice
sex with Dothan?

797
00:50:33,809 --> 00:50:36,778
Of course not, silly.

798
00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:39,013
He's my boyfriend.

799
00:50:41,886 --> 00:50:43,919
Morning, darling.

800
00:50:45,572 --> 00:50:47,223
I like a boy who goes
through the line with me

801
00:50:47,225 --> 00:50:48,124
and carries my tray.

802
00:50:48,126 --> 00:50:49,893
It's all right this time,

803
00:50:49,895 --> 00:50:51,762
but your manners
will have to improve

804
00:50:51,764 --> 00:50:52,897
since we're going steady.

805
00:50:52,899 --> 00:50:56,234
Who said we're goin' steady?

806
00:50:56,236 --> 00:50:58,592
Well, everyone.

807
00:50:58,593 --> 00:51:00,950
You know what you did to
me at the picture show.

808
00:51:00,951 --> 00:51:03,307
Well, there's more to a commitment
than biting someone's tongue.

809
00:51:03,311 --> 00:51:05,813
Well, that behavior
may pass back east,

810
00:51:05,815 --> 00:51:07,314
but here in Wyoming,
we're moral.

811
00:51:07,316 --> 00:51:11,786
That reminds me. You have
to give me your jacket.

812
00:51:11,788 --> 00:51:13,955
What?

813
00:51:14,358 --> 00:51:16,792
Well, it'll be
a letter jacket next year.

814
00:51:16,794 --> 00:51:18,778
We'll make do for now.

815
00:51:18,779 --> 00:51:20,764
Charlotte,
it's freezing outside.

816
00:51:20,766 --> 00:51:23,066
What better way
to prove your love for me

817
00:51:23,068 --> 00:51:26,938
than to sacrifice your jacket
for my own comfort?

818
00:51:26,940 --> 00:51:31,010
Well, I don't wanna
prove my love.

819
00:51:32,146 --> 00:51:36,383
They'll... they'll think
you took advantage of me.

820
00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:39,987
They'll say I'm cheap.

821
00:51:39,989 --> 00:51:43,858
Come on, Maurey, let's go.

822
00:51:47,865 --> 00:51:51,200
Jesus.

823
00:51:55,841 --> 00:51:59,244
Hank's truck out front
was a good sign.

824
00:51:59,246 --> 00:52:01,780
The pipes had been frozen
when I left for school,

825
00:52:01,782 --> 00:52:03,783
which put Lydia
in an even nastier mood

826
00:52:03,785 --> 00:52:05,851
than she had been in
since their fight.

827
00:52:05,853 --> 00:52:09,256
I figured they were upstairs
havin' a makeup orgy.

828
00:52:09,258 --> 00:52:12,926
I was glad for them. They really
seemed to like each other,

829
00:52:12,928 --> 00:52:15,063
but after all,
your mom is your mom,

830
00:52:15,065 --> 00:52:16,831
and I'd hoped they'd
hear me and stop.

831
00:52:16,833 --> 00:52:21,904
I wasn't in the mood to hear moans
and groans from my own mother.

832
00:52:25,744 --> 00:52:27,043
Mom.

833
00:52:28,347 --> 00:52:30,181
Mom.

834
00:52:33,754 --> 00:52:35,387
Mom.

835
00:52:36,223 --> 00:52:38,791
Lydia?

836
00:52:41,996 --> 00:52:43,497
Hi, honey bunny.

837
00:52:43,499 --> 00:52:44,965
Hi, Lydia.

838
00:52:44,967 --> 00:52:47,936
Hank crawled under the
house with a torch

839
00:52:47,938 --> 00:52:49,137
and thawed the pipes.

840
00:52:49,139 --> 00:52:50,972
Wasn't that nice of him?

841
00:52:52,276 --> 00:52:55,211
Give us a sip.

842
00:52:59,918 --> 00:53:03,054
Um, there's a letter from Caspar

843
00:53:03,056 --> 00:53:04,522
on the kitchen table.

844
00:53:04,524 --> 00:53:06,859
Yeah, what's grandpa
got to say?

845
00:53:06,861 --> 00:53:09,194
Aw, usual threats.

846
00:53:09,196 --> 00:53:11,063
Nothin' for you to worry about.

847
00:53:11,065 --> 00:53:15,268
We are livin' so clean and
wholesome here in Wyoming,

848
00:53:15,270 --> 00:53:18,906
even Caspar can't touch us.

849
00:53:39,166 --> 00:53:42,067
Ta-da.

850
00:53:42,069 --> 00:53:43,536
I didn't have time to wrap it.

851
00:53:43,538 --> 00:53:45,204
Well, what else were you doin'?

852
00:53:45,206 --> 00:53:47,024
Now you can listen

853
00:53:47,025 --> 00:53:48,842
to your stupid baseball
games all night.

854
00:53:48,844 --> 00:53:50,411
Thanks, mom.

855
00:53:50,413 --> 00:53:52,263
Sam.

856
00:53:52,264 --> 00:53:54,114
I mean, tHanks, Lydia.

857
00:53:54,117 --> 00:53:56,885
Mmm. Yuck.

858
00:53:57,955 --> 00:54:00,223
Mmm. Yuck.

859
00:54:01,927 --> 00:54:05,496
My present's out in the back.

860
00:54:09,837 --> 00:54:12,037
So, we gonna keep him?

861
00:54:12,039 --> 00:54:15,441
Don't be ridiculous.
He's not a sweater.

862
00:54:15,443 --> 00:54:17,109
I never said he was.

863
00:54:17,111 --> 00:54:21,849
Besides, we won't
be here that long.

864
00:54:25,021 --> 00:54:28,022
Happy Christmas.

865
00:54:28,024 --> 00:54:29,892
What's that?

866
00:54:29,894 --> 00:54:32,928
By tradition,
it oughta be a horse,

867
00:54:32,930 --> 00:54:34,865
but I wasn't sure
you wanted one.

868
00:54:34,867 --> 00:54:36,566
Sam helped me choose it.

869
00:54:36,568 --> 00:54:39,537
Hey, I told him
you'd never get on it.

870
00:54:39,539 --> 00:54:40,905
Not in a million years.

871
00:54:40,907 --> 00:54:43,976
Well, you got that right.

872
00:54:43,977 --> 00:54:47,045
Yep, I said Caspar
won't let you ride a bike.

873
00:54:52,454 --> 00:54:55,589
Whoo!

874
00:54:55,591 --> 00:54:57,458
Come on, Sam.

875
00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:59,961
All right.

876
00:55:01,565 --> 00:55:03,433
Yahoo. Hey.

877
00:55:03,434 --> 00:55:05,301
I'll give you 5 bucks if you
can knock my cowboy hat off.

878
00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:06,903
Come on, catch up.

879
00:55:06,905 --> 00:55:08,438
Yeah.

880
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,574
See? I can ride.
Look, no hands.

881
00:55:10,576 --> 00:55:11,642
Yeah, right. Well, one hand.

882
00:55:11,644 --> 00:55:12,810
I'm gonna... I'm gonna...

883
00:55:12,812 --> 00:55:13,978
Don't run me over.

884
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:16,147
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

885
00:55:16,149 --> 00:55:17,115
Whoa!

886
00:55:17,117 --> 00:55:19,351
Hey, baby, you ok?

887
00:55:19,353 --> 00:55:22,923
We should have got her
that damn horse.

888
00:55:24,159 --> 00:55:25,058
Catch her!

889
00:55:25,060 --> 00:55:27,428
This ain't so hard.

890
00:55:27,430 --> 00:55:29,997
Come on, hurry up.

891
00:55:29,999 --> 00:55:32,133
Get back here, Lydia!

892
00:55:47,287 --> 00:55:48,086
Time out.

893
00:55:54,963 --> 00:55:56,262
Maurey doesn't love me, Sam.

894
00:55:56,264 --> 00:55:59,967
She loves you.
You can have her.

895
00:55:59,969 --> 00:56:02,704
Well, that's awfully
sporting of you.

896
00:56:02,706 --> 00:56:04,656
No sweat...

897
00:56:04,657 --> 00:56:06,608
I'm in love with another.

898
00:56:52,298 --> 00:56:53,464
Is Lydia here?

899
00:56:53,465 --> 00:56:54,632
Yeah, we're goin' on a picnic.

900
00:56:54,635 --> 00:56:56,335
You wanna come?

901
00:56:56,804 --> 00:56:58,570
Is Lydia coming?

902
00:56:58,572 --> 00:57:01,408
Well, yeah.

903
00:57:03,045 --> 00:57:04,144
Hank promised we'd see

904
00:57:04,146 --> 00:57:05,713
a magnificent view of the lake.

905
00:57:05,715 --> 00:57:07,681
He'd better not be lyin'

906
00:57:07,683 --> 00:57:10,652
Hey, look.

907
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:36,783
In nature, a person
can be idealistic.

908
00:57:36,785 --> 00:57:39,787
You can believe in things.

909
00:57:39,789 --> 00:57:41,689
Well, like what?

910
00:57:43,427 --> 00:57:45,527
Like beauty...

911
00:57:45,529 --> 00:57:47,763
And the nobility of humans.

912
00:57:47,765 --> 00:57:51,201
People in the cities
cannot believe in nobility

913
00:57:51,203 --> 00:57:53,437
because they see no sign of it.

914
00:57:53,439 --> 00:57:58,844
I just love it when he
talks like chief Joseph.

915
00:58:01,715 --> 00:58:04,684
How can you tell
if you're pregnant?

916
00:58:07,523 --> 00:58:08,589
Well, the game
was supposed to end

917
00:58:08,591 --> 00:58:10,124
when you got your first period.

918
00:58:10,126 --> 00:58:13,361
I haven't had a period yet.

919
00:58:13,363 --> 00:58:15,463
W- what's a period?

920
00:58:15,465 --> 00:58:17,867
Well, I...

921
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:20,469
I hardly know
what being pregnant

922
00:58:20,471 --> 00:58:22,806
feels like myself.

923
00:58:22,808 --> 00:58:24,174
I was only with child once,

924
00:58:24,176 --> 00:58:25,842
and I wasn't
much older than you.

925
00:58:25,844 --> 00:58:28,446
I'm just a kid.
I can't have a baby.

926
00:58:28,448 --> 00:58:31,149
See? That's what I thought.

927
00:58:40,762 --> 00:58:42,329
You didn't call me
this weekend.

928
00:58:42,331 --> 00:58:44,198
I don't know why I
go steady with you.

929
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,535
You're supposed to call
me at least once a day.

930
00:58:46,537 --> 00:58:48,170
Sharon's boyfriend
calls her house

931
00:58:48,172 --> 00:58:49,688
a dozen times a day,

932
00:58:49,689 --> 00:58:51,206
and then lets the phone
ring once and then hangs up

933
00:58:51,209 --> 00:58:52,942
just to let her know
he still loves her,

934
00:58:52,944 --> 00:58:56,213
and this morning, you didn't
even notice my new skirt.

935
00:58:56,215 --> 00:59:00,184
I was so appalled. I mean,
even Rodney made a compliment,

936
00:59:00,186 --> 00:59:02,587
and did I get anything from you?
No.

937
00:59:02,589 --> 00:59:06,392
It hurts. I'm trying
to look nice for you.

938
00:59:06,394 --> 00:59:08,394
I mean, you are my boyfriend.

939
00:59:08,396 --> 00:59:10,463
If this relationship
doesn't start

940
00:59:10,465 --> 00:59:11,698
to come to my end of it,

941
00:59:11,700 --> 00:59:15,603
then I'm afraid this
will not work out.

942
00:59:35,996 --> 00:59:39,565
Are you ok?

943
00:59:39,567 --> 00:59:42,835
Well, what do you think?

944
00:59:42,837 --> 00:59:46,273
Well, if you're pregnant,
I'll marry you.

945
00:59:46,275 --> 00:59:49,577
Sam, I can't marry you.

946
00:59:49,579 --> 00:59:52,447
Why not?

947
00:59:54,518 --> 01:00:00,590
I'm 14 years old.

948
01:00:05,632 --> 01:00:09,835
It's not gonna be that bad, honey.

949
01:00:09,837 --> 01:00:12,037
Oh, shh, wait, shh.

950
01:00:12,039 --> 01:00:13,973
Shh. One second.

951
01:00:29,827 --> 01:00:31,761
Whoa.

952
01:00:31,763 --> 01:00:34,564
We can rent an apartment.
I'll get a job.

953
01:00:34,566 --> 01:00:37,000
Oh, Sam. Don't be a squirrel.

954
01:00:37,002 --> 01:00:39,570
Are you comin' or not?

955
01:00:41,408 --> 01:00:42,006
Yeah.

956
01:00:42,008 --> 01:00:45,010
Good, you navigate.

957
01:00:45,012 --> 01:00:46,879
You know, nobody asked me

958
01:00:46,881 --> 01:00:48,448
what I wanted to do
about the baby.

959
01:00:48,450 --> 01:00:51,384
No, no one's going to, either.

960
01:01:02,934 --> 01:01:05,902
Delores says this is a nasty town,

961
01:01:05,904 --> 01:01:09,740
and she doesn't mean
"nasty" in a nice way.

962
01:01:16,918 --> 01:01:20,986
I've gotta be home before mom
gets back from Idaho falls.

963
01:01:20,988 --> 01:01:24,057
Well, let's do it, then.

964
01:01:32,403 --> 01:01:34,837
Are you all right?

965
01:01:41,547 --> 01:01:44,849
They're ready for you.

966
01:01:44,851 --> 01:01:46,985
This is the shits.

967
01:01:46,987 --> 01:01:49,955
You're gonna be ok.

968
01:01:51,893 --> 01:01:54,394
I know.

969
01:01:56,132 --> 01:01:59,967
Right this way, sweetheart.

970
01:02:14,186 --> 01:02:15,620
Here you are, dear.

971
01:02:15,622 --> 01:02:17,955
Thank you.

972
01:02:20,094 --> 01:02:22,761
I don't know why we're here.

973
01:02:25,901 --> 01:02:29,503
Sam, stop fidgeting.

974
01:02:30,506 --> 01:02:32,673
I'm gonna go wait
in the waiting room.

975
01:02:32,675 --> 01:02:34,643
Fine.

976
01:02:44,957 --> 01:02:46,089
Sam.

977
01:02:49,963 --> 01:02:51,162
Maurey.

978
01:02:51,164 --> 01:02:53,231
Oh, let's go.

979
01:02:53,233 --> 01:02:55,067
Maurey.

980
01:02:55,069 --> 01:02:57,770
Maurey.

981
01:03:03,046 --> 01:03:06,247
Laurabel Pierce and coach Stebbins?

982
01:03:06,249 --> 01:03:10,619
It puts new meaning
into welcome wagon.

983
01:03:10,621 --> 01:03:13,556
Daddy.

984
01:03:13,558 --> 01:03:17,795
Oh, I'm sorry. Daddy.

985
01:03:22,936 --> 01:03:24,870
How could Maurey and her mom

986
01:03:24,872 --> 01:03:27,272
have an abortion
at the same time?

987
01:03:28,242 --> 01:03:29,208
There's only one
clinic doin' 'em

988
01:03:29,210 --> 01:03:30,109
for hundreds of Miles,

989
01:03:30,111 --> 01:03:32,946
and then only on Saturdays.

990
01:03:33,215 --> 01:03:37,952
I bet there never was that
bridge club in Idaho falls.

991
01:03:37,954 --> 01:03:40,054
While daddy's up at the ranch

992
01:03:40,056 --> 01:03:41,689
taking care of the horses,

993
01:03:41,691 --> 01:03:43,559
mom's naked
with Howard Stebbins

994
01:03:43,561 --> 01:03:46,730
sticking his greasy
thing in her.

995
01:03:52,906 --> 01:03:55,306
I hate mothers.

996
01:04:01,650 --> 01:04:03,716
It's all right.

997
01:04:11,628 --> 01:04:14,162
Are you sure you don't
wanna come home with us?

998
01:04:14,164 --> 01:04:16,165
I have to fix Petey's supper.

999
01:04:16,167 --> 01:04:19,068
Mom might not make it
home till late.

1000
01:04:25,177 --> 01:04:28,880
Sam, she's barefoot.

1001
01:04:28,882 --> 01:04:30,883
Oh.

1002
01:04:50,709 --> 01:04:52,208
I'll see you tomorrow.

1003
01:04:52,210 --> 01:04:54,277
So, are we gonna keep the baby?

1004
01:04:54,279 --> 01:04:57,848
I can't think
about that now, Sam.

1005
01:04:57,850 --> 01:05:00,118
Ok.

1006
01:05:11,967 --> 01:05:12,933
what's the matter with you?

1007
01:05:15,739 --> 01:05:19,408
I deserve some fun tonight.

1008
01:05:19,410 --> 01:05:23,112
Raisin' kids is a lot
of responsibility.

1009
01:05:23,114 --> 01:05:24,648
How would you know?

1010
01:05:27,719 --> 01:05:29,120
well, what does that infer?

1011
01:05:32,325 --> 01:05:36,061
I didn't know she
would get pregnant.

1012
01:05:37,965 --> 01:05:38,998
You know, I've just
about had it

1013
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,434
with your judgmental attitude.

1014
01:05:43,706 --> 01:05:45,706
Those kids were 14,

1015
01:05:45,708 --> 01:05:49,244
and you taught them sex games.

1016
01:05:49,246 --> 01:05:52,047
Your father is right.

1017
01:05:52,049 --> 01:05:56,052
Sam couldn't be worse off
in a military school.

1018
01:06:06,399 --> 01:06:07,766
you finished with that?

1019
01:06:14,843 --> 01:06:16,443
Come on, Dougie, dance with me.

1020
01:06:16,445 --> 01:06:17,978
Hey. Come on.

1021
01:06:35,801 --> 01:06:38,470
Come on, Dougie.

1022
01:06:41,843 --> 01:06:43,175
Yeah.

1023
01:06:57,261 --> 01:06:59,128
Who do you have
to fuck in this joint

1024
01:06:59,130 --> 01:07:01,931
to get a cup of coffee?

1025
01:07:02,267 --> 01:07:04,768
I heard Hank's truck
last night.

1026
01:07:04,770 --> 01:07:07,304
He knows what you were doing.

1027
01:07:07,306 --> 01:07:10,040
So shoot me.

1028
01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:13,011
Hey.

1029
01:07:13,013 --> 01:07:16,249
Lydia.

1030
01:07:16,951 --> 01:07:20,888
Well, you gonna have the baby?

1031
01:07:20,890 --> 01:07:24,324
I guess so.

1032
01:07:24,326 --> 01:07:26,961
Really?

1033
01:07:26,963 --> 01:07:29,614
Why are you so happy?

1034
01:07:29,615 --> 01:07:32,267
I don't know. I guess I'm
just ready to be a father.

1035
01:07:32,270 --> 01:07:33,969
Mornin', ladies.

1036
01:07:33,971 --> 01:07:34,971
Mmm.

1037
01:07:36,942 --> 01:07:39,109
What's Hank doin'?

1038
01:07:43,283 --> 01:07:45,117
What's that he's got?

1039
01:07:45,119 --> 01:07:47,886
That's our moose.

1040
01:07:50,125 --> 01:07:52,258
He's drunker than a skunk.

1041
01:07:52,260 --> 01:07:54,061
Hank doesn't drink.

1042
01:07:54,063 --> 01:07:56,564
Maybe he's sick.

1043
01:07:57,500 --> 01:07:59,100
Oh, shoot.

1044
01:08:18,326 --> 01:08:20,593
Hey, butt-face.

1045
01:08:20,595 --> 01:08:22,194
Don't call me butt-face.

1046
01:08:22,196 --> 01:08:26,032
Maurey's pregnant.
You could have hurt her.

1047
01:08:26,034 --> 01:08:28,302
Your mother's a whore.

1048
01:08:29,005 --> 01:08:32,039
Yeah, well, that still doesn't
give you the right to hurt Maurey.

1049
01:08:32,041 --> 01:08:35,344
I'm sorry...

1050
01:08:36,046 --> 01:08:40,116
But your mother's
still a whore.

1051
01:09:01,143 --> 01:09:03,177
You ok?

1052
01:09:05,048 --> 01:09:08,050
Another pitiful man
put his hopes on you,

1053
01:09:08,052 --> 01:09:09,685
and you took him down.

1054
01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:12,088
Fuck you, Sam.

1055
01:09:12,090 --> 01:09:14,658
Fuck you, too, mom.

1056
01:09:23,971 --> 01:09:26,973
Your parents have
a really nice ranch.

1057
01:09:26,975 --> 01:09:28,474
Thanks.

1058
01:09:34,116 --> 01:09:35,549
Are you sure you should
be doin' that?

1059
01:09:35,551 --> 01:09:40,690
Dad says I was born on a horse.
Come on.

1060
01:09:42,026 --> 01:09:43,993
You mean, you want me
to get up there?

1061
01:09:43,995 --> 01:09:47,064
Why not, silly?

1062
01:09:54,741 --> 01:09:58,243
Come on.

1063
01:09:59,013 --> 01:10:01,314
Is your dad suspicious yet?

1064
01:10:01,316 --> 01:10:02,649
If we were older,

1065
01:10:02,651 --> 01:10:04,718
he'd be watching you
like a coyote.

1066
01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:06,053
Right now his worst fear is.

1067
01:10:06,055 --> 01:10:08,622
Lydia might give me
a cigarette.

1068
01:10:09,292 --> 01:10:10,342
What about your mom?

1069
01:10:10,343 --> 01:10:11,392
Does she know you're
still pregnant?

1070
01:10:11,395 --> 01:10:13,095
Mom won't say a word,

1071
01:10:13,097 --> 01:10:15,999
but I can tell she's
going nuts to find out.

1072
01:10:16,001 --> 01:10:17,133
She sneaks in my room

1073
01:10:17,135 --> 01:10:18,534
when she thinks I'm asleep

1074
01:10:18,536 --> 01:10:21,438
and stares at me for hours.

1075
01:10:21,440 --> 01:10:24,409
It's spooky.

1076
01:10:28,615 --> 01:10:30,483
Isn't being friends much better

1077
01:10:30,485 --> 01:10:32,284
than being girlfriend
and boyfriend?

1078
01:10:32,286 --> 01:10:33,419
If you were my boyfriend

1079
01:10:33,421 --> 01:10:35,022
I'd never show you this spot

1080
01:10:35,024 --> 01:10:36,356
because we might break up

1081
01:10:36,358 --> 01:10:38,625
and then where would I be?

1082
01:10:38,627 --> 01:10:40,595
Well, where would you be?

1083
01:10:40,597 --> 01:10:44,600
Someone I don't like
would know my secret.

1084
01:10:45,036 --> 01:10:48,404
But I still want
to have sex with you.

1085
01:10:49,207 --> 01:10:51,074
We can't have sex now.

1086
01:10:51,076 --> 01:10:53,076
You're my friend.

1087
01:10:53,078 --> 01:10:54,278
I can't risk losing you

1088
01:10:54,280 --> 01:10:56,680
for something as silly as sex.

1089
01:10:56,682 --> 01:10:59,184
I'm confused.

1090
01:11:04,125 --> 01:11:08,695
You bike back into town
without me.

1091
01:11:08,697 --> 01:11:10,798
I think I'll talk to dad.

1092
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:13,268
Are you sure?

1093
01:11:14,805 --> 01:11:16,571
It's time.

1094
01:11:18,109 --> 01:11:20,259
Is there any chance you might

1095
01:11:20,260 --> 01:11:22,411
skip the part about
who the father is?

1096
01:11:23,082 --> 01:11:25,182
I'll try, but you and Lydia

1097
01:11:25,184 --> 01:11:27,385
better lock your doors tonight.

1098
01:11:34,195 --> 01:11:35,494
Hi.

1099
01:11:46,375 --> 01:11:48,577
Thanks, sugar.

1100
01:11:49,213 --> 01:11:53,116
Maurey told her dad about
the baby this afternoon.

1101
01:11:53,118 --> 01:11:54,750
What do you think he'll do?

1102
01:11:54,752 --> 01:11:56,753
Buddy Pierce will
brand your butt.

1103
01:11:56,755 --> 01:12:02,560
Are you speaking literally
or metaphorically?

1104
01:12:13,308 --> 01:12:15,642
Well, I'm God's gift to horses.

1105
01:12:15,644 --> 01:12:18,246
Well, yes, sir,
but I accidentally

1106
01:12:18,248 --> 01:12:19,614
squirted into your daughter

1107
01:12:19,616 --> 01:12:23,252
and, well, now she's
with child.

1108
01:12:23,821 --> 01:12:25,788
No!

1109
01:12:54,959 --> 01:12:57,893
Can I live here
till the baby comes?

1110
01:12:57,895 --> 01:13:00,630
Of course.

1111
01:13:00,632 --> 01:13:02,699
So, how'd it go with your dad?

1112
01:13:02,701 --> 01:13:04,452
He said I'm a slut

1113
01:13:04,453 --> 01:13:06,203
and he's ashamed to have
me as a daughter.

1114
01:13:07,390 --> 01:13:08,573
Well, you probably
just surprised him.

1115
01:13:08,575 --> 01:13:10,809
Just give him a few days.
He'll come around.

1116
01:13:10,811 --> 01:13:13,212
No, he won't.

1117
01:13:13,214 --> 01:13:16,349
Daddy has morals and I don't.

1118
01:13:17,719 --> 01:13:19,520
I'm gonna go sleep
on the couch.

1119
01:13:19,522 --> 01:13:21,622
No!

1120
01:13:21,624 --> 01:13:24,492
That's too far away.

1121
01:13:24,494 --> 01:13:28,598
Sleep here on the floor
in case I need you.

1122
01:13:45,419 --> 01:13:47,753
Now, all your life I've
tried to set an example

1123
01:13:47,755 --> 01:13:51,524
of how to deal with
public disapproval.

1124
01:13:51,526 --> 01:13:54,929
It's time to show me what
you've learned, honey bunny.

1125
01:14:31,942 --> 01:14:34,877
I feel like Lee Harvey oswald.

1126
01:14:34,879 --> 01:14:36,946
It's like we have
the ultimate cooties.

1127
01:14:36,948 --> 01:14:40,950
Yeah, I'll see you at
lunch there, Sammy-boy.

1128
01:15:08,953 --> 01:15:11,421
I'm sorry I got Maurey pregnant

1129
01:15:11,423 --> 01:15:14,124
while I was going
steady with you.

1130
01:15:51,705 --> 01:15:54,407
Sam?

1131
01:15:55,643 --> 01:15:56,942
Did she tell on me?

1132
01:15:56,944 --> 01:15:58,077
Tell on you?

1133
01:15:58,079 --> 01:16:01,481
Does her father know
about... You know?

1134
01:16:01,483 --> 01:16:05,086
That you and her mom
shared an abortion?

1135
01:16:08,091 --> 01:16:09,158
No.

1136
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:10,859
I think she loves
her dad too much

1137
01:16:10,861 --> 01:16:12,594
to tell him that
you screwed her mom.

1138
01:16:12,596 --> 01:16:14,998
I haven't talked to Laurabel

1139
01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,133
since the day at the clinic.

1140
01:16:17,135 --> 01:16:19,537
You can tell Maurey that.

1141
01:16:19,539 --> 01:16:22,106
So you got her an abortion,
then dumped her?

1142
01:16:22,108 --> 01:16:26,111
Well, wasn't that what
I was supposed to do?

1143
01:16:32,487 --> 01:16:34,655
How'd everybody find out?

1144
01:16:34,657 --> 01:16:35,789
Now that I've told dad

1145
01:16:35,791 --> 01:16:37,859
it doesn't matter
who else knows.

1146
01:16:37,861 --> 01:16:39,494
So, who'd you tell?

1147
01:16:39,496 --> 01:16:41,763
Him.

1148
01:16:44,235 --> 01:16:47,136
Sammy-boy, how's it shaking?

1149
01:16:48,140 --> 01:16:49,957
About the same.

1150
01:16:49,958 --> 01:16:51,775
Good. We still on
for Friday night?

1151
01:16:51,777 --> 01:16:55,780
Town without pity's
playing at the movies.

1152
01:16:55,782 --> 01:16:57,416
Hey, you ought
to bring Chuckette

1153
01:16:57,417 --> 01:16:59,050
and maybe Saturday night
we'll go parking.

1154
01:16:59,053 --> 01:17:02,222
Well, I don't know. I'll
have to ask Chuckette.

1155
01:17:02,224 --> 01:17:04,991
He'll have to ask Chuckette.

1156
01:17:04,993 --> 01:17:06,059
This boy gets any funnier,

1157
01:17:06,061 --> 01:17:08,662
they're gonna put him on TV.

1158
01:17:13,070 --> 01:17:15,737
Hey, how come Dothan didn't
beat me up at lunch today?

1159
01:17:15,739 --> 01:17:18,875
He's an understanding
kind of guy.

1160
01:17:18,877 --> 01:17:20,109
And I said I'd break up
with him

1161
01:17:20,111 --> 01:17:22,946
if he was mean to you.

1162
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:27,719
Spring in Wyoming lasts all of 2 weeks

1163
01:17:27,721 --> 01:17:32,057
and is marked by mud
and rampant pregnancy.

1164
01:17:32,059 --> 01:17:34,026
With all of nature knocked up,

1165
01:17:34,028 --> 01:17:36,162
Maurey and I felt
right at home.

1166
01:17:36,164 --> 01:17:39,032
We discovered the best thing
about being ostracized

1167
01:17:39,034 --> 01:17:44,071
by an entire town is that
people leave you alone.

1168
01:17:45,141 --> 01:17:48,176
With Hank gone, Lydia was
crankier than usual,

1169
01:17:48,178 --> 01:17:54,717
and the rising heat didn't help
Maurey's mood much, either.

1170
01:17:57,123 --> 01:17:59,623
She said being pregnant
was wretched,

1171
01:17:59,625 --> 01:18:01,192
but to tell you the truth,

1172
01:18:01,194 --> 01:18:03,128
it didn't bother me that much.

1173
01:18:03,130 --> 01:18:06,165
I'm going for a bike ride.
You wanna come?

1174
01:18:06,167 --> 01:18:08,601
Sure.

1175
01:18:23,321 --> 01:18:26,356
Do you brush
your teeth every day?

1176
01:18:26,358 --> 01:18:28,124
Yes, mom.

1177
01:18:28,126 --> 01:18:32,096
And use a fresh towel
after every shower.

1178
01:18:32,098 --> 01:18:35,133
I will.

1179
01:18:37,004 --> 01:18:38,303
Bye.

1180
01:18:47,683 --> 01:18:51,252
I can't believe we have to bring Dothan.

1181
01:18:52,389 --> 01:18:54,056
He's my boyfriend, Sam.

1182
01:18:54,058 --> 01:18:56,993
You better be nice to him.

1183
01:18:59,732 --> 01:19:01,098
What happened to your arm?

1184
01:19:01,100 --> 01:19:02,332
My daddy broke it.

1185
01:19:02,334 --> 01:19:06,304
Why, for God's sakes,
would he do that?

1186
01:19:06,306 --> 01:19:08,073
'Cause I was mouthin' off.

1187
01:19:08,075 --> 01:19:09,908
So he broke your arm?

1188
01:19:09,910 --> 01:19:13,413
I deserved it.
Can we just drop it?

1189
01:19:13,415 --> 01:19:16,750
Dropped.

1190
01:19:21,157 --> 01:19:22,708
Howdy, folks.

1191
01:19:22,709 --> 01:19:24,259
You're gonna be glad
you came out today.

1192
01:19:24,261 --> 01:19:26,962
We got a real good rodeo
fair here at rovont.

1193
01:19:26,964 --> 01:19:30,199
Rained a little earlier,
sun's out nice now.

1194
01:19:30,201 --> 01:19:34,204
Mud and blood is what
rodeo's all about.

1195
01:19:39,713 --> 01:19:42,214
Folks, let's have a
big hand for Joe Brannigan.

1196
01:19:42,216 --> 01:19:45,084
A big hand is all
he's gonna win today.

1197
01:19:45,086 --> 01:19:47,354
Whoo! Whoo!

1198
01:19:53,129 --> 01:19:55,413
The timed mastery of a horse

1199
01:19:55,414 --> 01:19:57,699
is nothing more than
competitive sex.

1200
01:19:57,835 --> 01:20:00,102
Proof that man can subjugate
anything wild and beautiful

1201
01:20:00,104 --> 01:20:02,205
once he gets it
between his legs.

1202
01:20:02,207 --> 01:20:04,307
What gets me is they
want a belt buckle

1203
01:20:04,309 --> 01:20:06,143
for lasting 8 seconds.

1204
01:20:06,145 --> 01:20:08,145
Our next contestant in the
bulldogging competition

1205
01:20:08,147 --> 01:20:12,084
is Hank Elkrunner
from right here in rovont.

1206
01:20:22,898 --> 01:20:24,231
That 5.4-second ride

1207
01:20:24,233 --> 01:20:26,868
puts Hank Elkrunner
square in the lead.

1208
01:20:26,870 --> 01:20:29,104
I fail to see how hurling a
dumb animal to the earth

1209
01:20:29,106 --> 01:20:31,874
makes a man the object
of mass approval.

1210
01:20:31,876 --> 01:20:33,976
Thank you kindly, Hank.

1211
01:20:33,978 --> 01:20:36,113
Looks like a stud to me.

1212
01:20:36,115 --> 01:20:38,215
Thanks, folks.

1213
01:20:55,138 --> 01:20:56,403
Ladies and gentlemen,

1214
01:20:56,405 --> 01:20:58,239
if you'll just stay calm,

1215
01:20:58,241 --> 01:20:59,341
let our cowboys get in there.

1216
01:20:59,343 --> 01:21:00,976
We have professionals
on the scene.

1217
01:21:00,978 --> 01:21:02,811
Give me some help here.

1218
01:21:02,813 --> 01:21:04,113
Get somebody
in here. He's hurt.

1219
01:21:04,115 --> 01:21:06,883
I might ought to see about mom.

1220
01:21:06,885 --> 01:21:08,484
I'll go with you.

1221
01:21:08,486 --> 01:21:11,288
It's unfortunate
that these things happen...

1222
01:21:11,290 --> 01:21:13,123
Come on! Move it! Excuse me.

1223
01:21:13,125 --> 01:21:15,460
... Medical teams
on staff out right here

1224
01:21:15,462 --> 01:21:16,961
and they will take care of him.

1225
01:21:16,963 --> 01:21:18,964
Watch him. Easy, easy.

1226
01:21:18,966 --> 01:21:21,167
I'll be back in a bit.

1227
01:21:21,169 --> 01:21:24,304
Thank you, fellas. He's gonna be fine.

1228
01:21:29,312 --> 01:21:31,179
Mama...

1229
01:21:31,180 --> 01:21:33,047
have to clean the floor
before buddy comes home

1230
01:21:33,049 --> 01:21:34,667
'cause buddy will be angry.

1231
01:21:34,668 --> 01:21:36,285
Mom, it's ok. Leave
the floor to later.

1232
01:21:36,287 --> 01:21:41,090
No, I can't leave any
tracks in the linoleum.

1233
01:21:45,531 --> 01:21:49,100
She's nuts. Ought
to be locked up.

1234
01:21:49,102 --> 01:21:51,269
This is your fault.

1235
01:21:51,271 --> 01:21:53,206
No more than you.

1236
01:21:53,208 --> 01:21:55,541
You! My baby!

1237
01:21:55,543 --> 01:21:57,109
You killed my baby!

1238
01:21:57,111 --> 01:21:58,946
What's she talking about?

1239
01:21:58,948 --> 01:22:01,114
Baby! Killed my baby!

1240
01:22:01,116 --> 01:22:02,851
Mom, no, it's ok.

1241
01:22:02,853 --> 01:22:05,119
No! No! Mama...

1242
01:22:05,121 --> 01:22:06,154
mom!

1243
01:22:06,156 --> 01:22:08,624
Mama, what are you doing?

1244
01:22:08,626 --> 01:22:10,037
Get this off of me!

1245
01:22:10,038 --> 01:22:11,449
Attention, cowboys in the arena...

1246
01:22:11,450 --> 01:22:12,862
She's having a nervous breakdown.

1247
01:22:12,865 --> 01:22:15,532
Please, we need to help her.

1248
01:22:16,168 --> 01:22:17,835
She's gonna get hurt out there.

1249
01:22:17,836 --> 01:22:19,502
Can we get some
help in for the lady, please?

1250
01:22:19,505 --> 01:22:22,140
Ladies and gentlemen,
everything'll be just fine.

1251
01:22:22,142 --> 01:22:26,378
Just stay in the stands and let
the cowboy take care of it.

1252
01:22:27,148 --> 01:22:29,883
Thank you, Hank. Appreciate it.

1253
01:22:29,885 --> 01:22:31,117
No! Easy, ma'am.

1254
01:22:31,119 --> 01:22:32,019
No, get away from me!

1255
01:22:32,021 --> 01:22:33,988
Get away from me.

1256
01:22:33,990 --> 01:22:36,391
It's all right.

1257
01:22:38,395 --> 01:22:40,195
Mama?

1258
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,666
It's gonna be all right.

1259
01:22:51,011 --> 01:22:52,977
Buddy would still be
at the hospital.

1260
01:22:52,979 --> 01:22:57,383
We'll follow you out there
in case you need us.

1261
01:22:58,252 --> 01:23:02,255
Pride means nothing
if you lose a good man.

1262
01:23:02,257 --> 01:23:05,593
Yeah.

1263
01:23:28,221 --> 01:23:30,356
Will someone please
explain to me

1264
01:23:30,358 --> 01:23:32,224
what all this pride
nonsense is about?

1265
01:23:32,226 --> 01:23:36,263
Life's too short for
me to waste any of it.

1266
01:23:37,733 --> 01:23:41,235
I'll see you around.

1267
01:23:48,045 --> 01:23:49,346
Heh.

1268
01:23:52,985 --> 01:23:54,318
Hey!

1269
01:23:54,320 --> 01:23:55,670
You can't get away from me,

1270
01:23:55,671 --> 01:23:57,021
you red-skinned son of a bitch.

1271
01:23:57,023 --> 01:23:59,191
Hey, I'm talking to you!

1272
01:23:59,193 --> 01:24:00,125
Hey!

1273
01:24:00,127 --> 01:24:01,727
You think she'll get him?

1274
01:24:01,729 --> 01:24:04,297
Hank don't stand a chance.

1275
01:24:04,299 --> 01:24:06,132
I'm your squaw, damn it!

1276
01:24:06,134 --> 01:24:10,437
Hank, you listen to me! Hank!

1277
01:24:19,751 --> 01:24:23,253
Come here, baby.

1278
01:24:39,341 --> 01:24:45,346
What... what... ok! Geronimo, baby!

1279
01:25:20,857 --> 01:25:23,092
Weird.

1280
01:25:31,270 --> 01:25:34,672
You know why women
fake orgasms?

1281
01:25:34,674 --> 01:25:38,777
I don't give a hoot
why women fake orgasms.

1282
01:25:38,779 --> 01:25:41,547
I'm not comfortable.

1283
01:25:41,549 --> 01:25:42,715
Women fake orgasms...

1284
01:25:42,717 --> 01:25:44,884
listen to the birthday girl.

1285
01:25:44,886 --> 01:25:46,553
Women fake orgasms

1286
01:25:46,555 --> 01:25:49,223
because men fake foreplay.

1287
01:25:49,225 --> 01:25:51,159
Ha ha ha ha!

1288
01:25:51,294 --> 01:25:54,262
You know, sometimes
when I have a real orgasm,

1289
01:25:54,264 --> 01:25:56,332
I tell the man that I faked it

1290
01:25:56,334 --> 01:25:58,367
just so he doesn't get cocky.

1291
01:25:58,369 --> 01:26:00,537
I hate cocky men!

1292
01:26:00,539 --> 01:26:03,640
My baby's going to be
raised on marshmallows.

1293
01:26:03,642 --> 01:26:05,576
Well, I raised Sammy on dr Pepper.

1294
01:26:05,578 --> 01:26:07,311
Look how he turned out.

1295
01:26:07,313 --> 01:26:08,846
I turned out ok.

1296
01:26:08,848 --> 01:26:10,716
Says who?

1297
01:26:10,718 --> 01:26:14,153
Aah! Whoo!

1298
01:26:14,155 --> 01:26:18,291
Aah! Aah! Get him, Hank!

1299
01:26:19,262 --> 01:26:20,928
Get him, Hank!

1300
01:26:20,930 --> 01:26:23,430
Get his feet, Hank.
Get his feet.

1301
01:26:23,432 --> 01:26:24,666
Delores...

1302
01:26:24,668 --> 01:26:26,601
Sit on his feet.

1303
01:26:26,603 --> 01:26:30,306
Hank, get the marshmallows.
You're dead!

1304
01:26:34,647 --> 01:26:36,680
Put the marshmallows in his ear!

1305
01:26:36,682 --> 01:26:38,382
Say Uncle. Say Uncle!

1306
01:26:38,384 --> 01:26:39,384
No!

1307
01:26:39,386 --> 01:26:41,953
Hi-ho, silver, away!

1308
01:26:41,955 --> 01:26:43,522
Delores.

1309
01:26:45,693 --> 01:26:47,760
Uh-oh.

1310
01:26:49,431 --> 01:26:51,264
Get up, Sam.

1311
01:26:52,367 --> 01:26:54,769
I said get up on your feet.

1312
01:26:55,305 --> 01:26:58,440
Samuel, get on your feet.

1313
01:26:59,376 --> 01:27:01,510
This is your Sunday uniform

1314
01:27:01,512 --> 01:27:03,246
at the Custer military academy.

1315
01:27:03,248 --> 01:27:09,353
As soon as you clear that mucky
gunk out of your ear,

1316
01:27:09,355 --> 01:27:11,288
you'll go in the house
and put it on.

1317
01:27:11,290 --> 01:27:13,358
Daddy. Be silent, girl.

1318
01:27:13,360 --> 01:27:15,327
We are going home now.

1319
01:27:15,329 --> 01:27:17,563
We will place Samuel at Custer,

1320
01:27:17,565 --> 01:27:20,600
and then you and I
will proceed onto greensboro.

1321
01:27:20,602 --> 01:27:23,303
Wait a second.
We can't go home.

1322
01:27:23,305 --> 01:27:24,738
We're having a baby.

1323
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:27,809
Well, I'm sure that little girl

1324
01:27:27,811 --> 01:27:29,410
has a mother of her own.

1325
01:27:29,412 --> 01:27:31,512
My mother's in the nuthouse.

1326
01:27:31,514 --> 01:27:33,315
Be that as it may,

1327
01:27:33,317 --> 01:27:35,651
you made your bed,
now you must lie in it.

1328
01:27:35,653 --> 01:27:38,989
I will not stand by
and see my grandson

1329
01:27:38,991 --> 01:27:40,423
snared by a spider.

1330
01:27:40,425 --> 01:27:42,293
Maurey is not a spider.

1331
01:27:42,295 --> 01:27:43,594
I told you to be silent.

1332
01:27:43,596 --> 01:27:45,029
Well, I won't. You just can't

1333
01:27:45,031 --> 01:27:46,264
come in here
and ruin everything.

1334
01:27:46,266 --> 01:27:47,466
This is our home now.

1335
01:27:47,468 --> 01:27:49,401
These people are our family.

1336
01:27:49,403 --> 01:27:51,971
Family. Ha ha!

1337
01:27:51,973 --> 01:27:53,640
A floozy, a kiowa,

1338
01:27:53,642 --> 01:27:56,410
and a very pregnant
little girl.

1339
01:27:56,412 --> 01:27:58,612
Tell me, which member
of your new family

1340
01:27:58,614 --> 01:28:01,316
is going to pay
next month's rent?

1341
01:28:01,318 --> 01:28:03,351
Blackfeet.

1342
01:28:05,689 --> 01:28:09,458
Just exactly what is
that supposed to mean?

1343
01:28:09,460 --> 01:28:12,663
I'm blackfeet, not kiowa.

1344
01:28:12,665 --> 01:28:16,067
I understand you live
in a one-room trailer.

1345
01:28:16,069 --> 01:28:18,903
Do you think she's
gonna like living there

1346
01:28:18,905 --> 01:28:20,572
and carrying your papooses?

1347
01:28:20,574 --> 01:28:23,509
Daddy, you are such an asshole.

1348
01:28:23,511 --> 01:28:24,743
Well, that could be.

1349
01:28:24,745 --> 01:28:25,912
When you get to the point

1350
01:28:25,914 --> 01:28:27,814
where you can pay
your way in life,

1351
01:28:27,816 --> 01:28:29,449
you can live anywhere you want

1352
01:28:29,451 --> 01:28:32,353
and in any disgusting
manner you want.

1353
01:28:32,355 --> 01:28:34,755
But as long as I'm
paying the bills,

1354
01:28:34,757 --> 01:28:36,625
you will do as I dictate.

1355
01:28:36,627 --> 01:28:38,627
Is that understood?

1356
01:28:38,629 --> 01:28:41,464
Go inside and put
your uniform on.

1357
01:28:41,466 --> 01:28:45,903
Son, you don't have a
lot to say about it.

1358
01:29:06,563 --> 01:29:08,429
I decided life was a gyp.

1359
01:29:08,431 --> 01:29:12,101
Why couldn't people
just do what I wanted?

1360
01:29:14,039 --> 01:29:16,005
Maurey wasn't in love with me.

1361
01:29:16,007 --> 01:29:17,440
Not in the right way.

1362
01:29:17,442 --> 01:29:21,011
If we were in love
like Romeo and Juliet,

1363
01:29:21,013 --> 01:29:22,480
we could fight Caspar.

1364
01:29:22,482 --> 01:29:23,749
We could flee
into the mountains

1365
01:29:23,751 --> 01:29:26,885
or chain ourselves to a rock.

1366
01:29:26,887 --> 01:29:28,388
Romeo and Juliet were 14,

1367
01:29:28,390 --> 01:29:31,391
and no one treated them
like children.

1368
01:29:31,393 --> 01:29:34,962
But, of course,
they died at the end.

1369
01:29:37,968 --> 01:29:41,536
Hey. How'd you
get here from town?

1370
01:29:41,538 --> 01:29:43,038
Hank brought me.

1371
01:29:43,040 --> 01:29:44,940
He's at the ranch
talking to dad.

1372
01:29:44,942 --> 01:29:48,612
Your grandfather
isn't happy with you.

1373
01:29:48,614 --> 01:29:52,182
I'll never put on
that uniform. Never!

1374
01:29:52,184 --> 01:29:54,652
Yes, you will.

1375
01:29:54,653 --> 01:29:57,120
You and Lydia are both
hopeless, and we all know it.

1376
01:29:57,123 --> 01:30:01,160
I won't leave you and the baby.

1377
01:30:01,162 --> 01:30:03,447
I'll hide in the mountains

1378
01:30:03,448 --> 01:30:05,732
and live on bushes
and frogs if I have to.

1379
01:30:05,734 --> 01:30:07,568
We made a mistake.

1380
01:30:07,570 --> 01:30:11,172
This baby's coming whether
anybody's ready or not.

1381
01:30:13,977 --> 01:30:18,114
Don't be sad, Sam.

1382
01:30:18,116 --> 01:30:21,150
No matter how bad
everything is,

1383
01:30:21,152 --> 01:30:23,187
you and I will have a baby.

1384
01:30:23,189 --> 01:30:28,593
You'll be 18 in 4 years.
Then you can come back.

1385
01:30:31,999 --> 01:30:34,166
Come on.

1386
01:30:34,168 --> 01:30:36,970
Come on. Will you...

1387
01:30:38,223 --> 01:30:39,473
I'm gonna get you.
- No, no!

1388
01:30:39,475 --> 01:30:42,009
You're going in the water.

1389
01:30:43,179 --> 01:30:45,513
Sam? Are you ok?

1390
01:30:45,515 --> 01:30:48,550
I just felt the baby.

1391
01:30:52,257 --> 01:30:54,858
Dr. Jenkins
to labor and delivery.

1392
01:30:54,860 --> 01:30:59,029
Dr. Jenkins to labor
and delivery, please.

1393
01:31:01,902 --> 01:31:04,503
Congratulations, Mr. Pierce.

1394
01:31:04,505 --> 01:31:06,105
You're a grandfather.

1395
01:31:06,107 --> 01:31:07,006
All right.

1396
01:31:07,008 --> 01:31:08,774
Well, what about me?

1397
01:31:14,049 --> 01:31:17,185
You have a daughter.

1398
01:31:36,977 --> 01:31:39,579
Her name is Shannon.

1399
01:31:39,581 --> 01:31:42,048
That's pretty.

1400
01:31:42,050 --> 01:31:45,219
Can I touch her?

1401
01:31:45,221 --> 01:31:47,588
Ok, but be gentle.
Babies aren't footballs.

1402
01:31:47,590 --> 01:31:51,626
Yeah, they don't travel
as far when you kick 'em.

1403
01:31:52,095 --> 01:31:54,096
That's not funny, Sam.

1404
01:32:06,313 --> 01:32:12,217
I hope she grows up to have
my looks and dad's brains.

1405
01:32:12,219 --> 01:32:14,621
Well, what about me?

1406
01:32:15,023 --> 01:32:16,990
She'll have your heart.

1407
01:32:17,359 --> 01:32:21,696
It's hard to see how goo on
a sock can lead to this.

1408
01:32:22,198 --> 01:32:25,267
Pretty cool, huh?

1409
01:32:25,269 --> 01:32:26,602
Yeah.

1410
01:32:43,257 --> 01:32:45,124
I wanna go home.

1411
01:32:45,126 --> 01:32:47,094
After we eat.

1412
01:32:48,931 --> 01:32:50,831
Whoa, I can't go in there.

1413
01:32:50,833 --> 01:32:52,734
My grandfather will kidnap me.

1414
01:32:52,736 --> 01:32:55,303
Your grandfather
will not kidnap you.

1415
01:32:55,305 --> 01:32:59,675
Yeah, he'll take me straight
to Custer military academy.

1416
01:32:59,677 --> 01:33:01,878
I won't let him.

1417
01:33:03,348 --> 01:33:05,348
Come on.

1418
01:33:07,720 --> 01:33:10,354
Hi, Sam.

1419
01:33:17,766 --> 01:33:20,433
So, what'd she name the baby?

1420
01:33:20,435 --> 01:33:22,269
Shannon.

1421
01:33:22,271 --> 01:33:23,704
Oh, my God.

1422
01:33:23,706 --> 01:33:25,139
That'll never do.

1423
01:33:25,141 --> 01:33:27,308
My baby's name is Shannon.

1424
01:33:27,310 --> 01:33:29,277
Who do I have
to fuck in this joint

1425
01:33:29,279 --> 01:33:30,746
to get a cup of coffee?

1426
01:33:30,748 --> 01:33:34,283
Ah, keep your pants
zipped, Jack.

1427
01:33:35,019 --> 01:33:35,952
Mom?

1428
01:33:35,954 --> 01:33:37,254
Mutual trust and respect, Sam.

1429
01:33:37,256 --> 01:33:39,856
Always remember what our
relationship is based on.

1430
01:33:39,858 --> 01:33:43,094
I may have a granddaughter,
but I'm not 30 yet.

1431
01:33:43,096 --> 01:33:46,198
Well, you can't
work here, Lydia.

1432
01:33:46,200 --> 01:33:47,266
Watch me.

1433
01:33:47,268 --> 01:33:49,401
She won't last a month.

1434
01:33:49,403 --> 01:33:51,438
The first time she
breaks a fingernail,

1435
01:33:51,440 --> 01:33:53,406
she'll be coming home to daddy.

1436
01:33:53,408 --> 01:33:56,343
Fat chance, daddy.

1437
01:33:56,345 --> 01:33:58,913
So does this mean I don't
have to go to Custer?

1438
01:33:58,915 --> 01:34:01,283
That's right. As long
as we pay our own way,

1439
01:34:01,285 --> 01:34:03,719
the old goat can't
force us anywhere.

1440
01:34:03,721 --> 01:34:06,856
She'll never make
the rent on tips.

1441
01:34:06,858 --> 01:34:07,991
Well, Dot does.

1442
01:34:07,992 --> 01:34:09,125
And I'm moving in, too.

1443
01:34:09,126 --> 01:34:10,260
Selling my trailer
and coming to town.

1444
01:34:10,262 --> 01:34:13,030
Maurey's family will
help pay on rent.

1445
01:34:13,032 --> 01:34:14,365
Maurey's moving in?

1446
01:34:14,367 --> 01:34:17,736
Well, part-time while
buddy's up at the ranch.

1447
01:34:17,738 --> 01:34:20,005
Now, what can I get you fellas?

1448
01:34:20,007 --> 01:34:24,377
I don't have all day to
chit-chat with the rabble.

1449
01:34:46,906 --> 01:34:51,209
Sam Callahan, I wanna
have your baby.

1450
01:34:51,211 --> 01:34:53,312
We all wanna have your baby.

1451
01:34:53,314 --> 01:34:57,416
We want you to be the dad
of a new generation.

1452
01:34:57,418 --> 01:34:59,787
I'm sorry.

1453
01:34:59,789 --> 01:35:01,455
I would love
to father your child,

1454
01:35:01,457 --> 01:35:04,559
but my heart belongs
to my true love.

1455
01:35:04,561 --> 01:35:06,995
It's just not proper
to have babies

1456
01:35:06,997 --> 01:35:08,364
by more than
one girl at a time.

1457
01:35:08,366 --> 01:35:11,400
You've broken my heart.

1458
01:35:11,402 --> 01:35:14,871
Be strong. Someday
you will understand

1459
01:35:14,873 --> 01:35:19,477
the theory of one man,
one baby.

1460
01:35:28,323 --> 01:35:29,355
I'm going into green river

1461
01:35:29,357 --> 01:35:30,890
after cheerleading practice,

1462
01:35:30,891 --> 01:35:32,425
so you'll have to handle
the 6:00 feeding.

1463
01:35:32,428 --> 01:35:35,529
Well, I'm the father,
not the baby-sitter.

1464
01:35:35,531 --> 01:35:37,833
Same difference.

1465
01:35:37,835 --> 01:35:42,438
Now, be a good baby.

1466
01:35:43,341 --> 01:35:45,308
Lydia'll help you
if you need anything.

1467
01:35:45,310 --> 01:35:49,012
I won't need Lydia.

1468
01:35:51,384 --> 01:35:53,251
Bye.
- Bye, Sam.

1469
01:35:57,925 --> 01:35:59,558
The future lay before Sam

1470
01:35:59,560 --> 01:36:01,962
like the great American novel

1471
01:36:01,964 --> 01:36:03,363
just waiting to be written.

1472
01:36:03,365 --> 01:36:07,268
Lydia would marry Hank
and join the welcome wagon.

1473
01:36:07,270 --> 01:36:09,737
Maurey would grow to love Sam

1474
01:36:09,738 --> 01:36:12,206
the way mothers are
supposed to love fathers.

1475
01:36:12,209 --> 01:36:14,226
Shannon would grow up

1476
01:36:14,227 --> 01:36:16,245
to be beautiful, talented,
and virginal.

1477
01:36:16,248 --> 01:36:19,582
Sam knew the trail ahead
would be long, steep,

1478
01:36:19,584 --> 01:36:22,353
and littered with horse manure,

1479
01:36:22,355 --> 01:36:24,154
but he was ready now,

1480
01:36:24,156 --> 01:36:25,390
'cause somehow, some way,

1481
01:36:25,392 --> 01:36:29,127
the waitress, the Indian,
the cheerleader,

1482
01:36:29,129 --> 01:36:32,398
and the 15-year-old father
would survive.

1483
01:36:32,400 --> 01:36:36,603
They were the modern
American family.

1484
01:36:37,305 --> 01:37:37,264
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